Quotes by Carolla

A daily listener to The Adam Carolla Show podcast sharing the nuggets of wisdom the Ace Man delivers

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"Word up, and fuck Phoenix. You wanna watch me be miserable? Come on out." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"If you think I want to do the 2nd show, no! I'd rather go to my room and get drunk, and be by myself. Thank you." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"It's a fuck of a lot better than putting furniture together, or installing closets with born again gangbangers." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"The ultimate, which I'm gonna tell my grand kids one day is a, Johnny brought the sofa over to me." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"I'm just saying, if I was a huge black man and didn't have a lot going on here, I'd just move to Japan." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

How about a cult insertion person where you go get my mom's lazy fat ass off the sofa in 1979 and go 'Sweetie, u need a cult.' @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"Ooooo, look at the veins in his neck. He must be really pushing that diesel locomotive." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"I've never met a Jewish fireman, and I've looked at a lot of their calendars. A lot, A LOT." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"I didn't kill anyone in my movie, can I get a couple of fuck credits? Ooo, I like that. Bring that one home with me." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"I have to pay my taxes quarterly, I'd be in jail with Wesley Snipes, he'd be raping me violently." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

Lambskin Condoms:
"A very mixed message to those of us who like to fuck sheep." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"Being gay is no way to make a career when you work in the NASCAR circuit." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"I didn't mean that thing was gay like it was gay like it sucked cock. I meant like gay like lame." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"Now look everyone, you all need to be deputized to tell everyone to fucking knock it off." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

Hopefully u graduate to the station in life where you're putting your keys on top of your hardboiled eggs..in my custom fridge @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"The reason you blow 80 year old dudes is to get a Lexus out of the deal, not a smoothie over at Jamba Juice." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"I've never been constipated a day in my life. Now, I've had some struggles at the plate." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"When you blow 80 year old guys and you don't get a car, that's bad business." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

"Hey man, I need to snap out of my funk. I'm gonna go to the Holocaust museum next door, see if I can shake these blues off." @adamcarolla

[Quotes by Carolla @Adam_Carolla]

NASCAR
In that world you'd b probably better off saying that you've aligned yourself with Al Qaeda than saying I'm with a dude @adamcarolla