adam 🖋

I'm just using you people for free therapy. I'm also in real therapy.

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

@SpeakerJohnson

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

@CMargaronis @ElijahCone It doesn't *feel* like Catherine loves him

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

@PaymoneyWubby I started a book club on Fable for the community. Are you good with this pic or do you want to provide a different one?

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

Officials say Jeffrey Michael Kelly was upset at the DNC for not letting him join in any reindeer games.

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

I feel everyone has a moral obligation to honk when you drive by a golf course and see a golfer mid-swing.

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

@hannbuu Damn. Nice pull

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

Am I right, @TracyByrdMusic

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

If elected president I will force country music to go back to being about watermelon festivals instead of whatever the hell it's about now.

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

@PodSaveAmerica Both were amazing speeches and worked incredibly well together. I miss them, but excited for Kamala and Doug

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

I assume this is satire but you never really know with republican's understanding of human bodies.

[Tim Burchett @timburchett]

I got some sweet swag at the Republican convention. Just think if I was a Democrat I could have gotten an abortion.

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

What's your preferred way to watch Lord of the Rings: The standard versions or the shortened editions?

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

@TrumpWarRoom @brikeilarcnn @JDVance lmao. You dish it but can't take it.

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

@ksorbs Bro, you're an actor. Act like you didn't just get back from an all-you-can-eat lead paint buffet.

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

@LibertyValkyrie You're right. If she really wanted to look cool she'd get Kid Rock and Amber Rose.

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

@jonlovett I wasn’t surprised to hear you say the phrase “larded-up toppers” but not in that context.

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

@Eden_Eats Call it Unhinge

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

@stickermule I disagree that any kind-hearted people support Trump. You are not kind-hearted if you support someone who can be as mean and as vile as Trump.

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

I'm gonna have to pay for therapy for my scrub daddy after what I just did to it while washing these fingerling potatoes.

[adam 🖋 @AdamTwosleeves]

Ever since learning about microplastics in nutsacks I can't stop imagining my sperms having little lego heads.