i think this is the worst part about a toxic relationship with a toxic person is bc at the end of the day, you still loved them, still shared your life with them, still had good days, and it's gotta be hard to separate that from the toxicity, the bad days, the abuse, etc...
I love my mother But I don't want to be like her. I love my father. But I don't want a husband like him. I loved my childhood. But I don't want my children to grow up the way I did.