onion and banana juice

this account is equal parts roomba stan and D3 athlete slander

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

To whoever the fuck took my laundry basket out of the village laundry room like I get that we have identical white Ikea laundry baskets but mine had a whole ass fitted sheet in it so what the fuck were you thinking? Also I have your laundry basket

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

No offense but imo going to Canada simply is not worth waiting at the border to get back into the US. I have been desperate to piss on American soil for 1.5 hours and counting

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

@dickiebush I’d love these prompts!

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

#TheMandolarian spoilers but with no context

[Jay @jaywillis]

ACAB includes Super Bowl refs

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

Next big thing for berg

[gaz @gazpachomachine]

cheerleaders should start doing sad/interpretive dance when their team is losing

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

two years ago today

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

Dear old women at gate C14 at Boston Logan,

Please get a pair of goddamn headphones! No one wants to hear you on FaceTime! Especially considering the extremely loud obnoxious sounds coming from the toy your grandchild is playing with! Please kindly stfu!
Thanks,
Everyone else

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

@celestesam_ Excellent suggestion I’m just gonna put on an ocean documentary and say I watched the way of water

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

@celestesam_ How stoned am I going to have to be in order to enjoy this movie? Or do I need something harder like perhaps a psychedelic?

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

Elons temper tantrum has become unsustainably ironic because what do you mean Stay Elon is the top news result and when you click on it the top people are the Babylon Bee and the loser himself and if you scroll, voiceoftheforgotten cites the article and gets 450 likes

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

Not the first person to make this joke but no one’s done it since 2019 so I think it’s fair game

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

They drank too much sleepy time tea

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

Mike’s Hard Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

@kloogans @mrjohndarby

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

@chary6dis I would literally love one of those bad boys

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

@Aaronforeman7 Like I’m with you but what do you mean by that

[onion and banana juice @AdinGoldfeder]

Watching this video is the best possible use of 39 seconds

[BBC News (UK) @BBCNews]

Bear cub high on hallucinogenic 'mad honey' rescued by park rangers https://t.co/SO9ptSl0nR