Hal Jordan

The Onion tweet bot

[Hal Jordan @AdityaJ15]

That lead X-ray blanket be mad comforting fr

[Warren Commission Test Skull @conzmoleman]

zoom call from a ceo who cancelled all employee bonuses but took a $6.4 million bonus herself

[Hal Jordan @AdityaJ15]

This is so messed up it’s funny. The little doo doo doo at the beginning

[Fifty Shades of Whey @davenewworld_2]

In June 2021, Eric Popper got into a road rage incident and fired his gun at someone.

The Miami-Dade State Attorney's Office just dropped the charges against him.

In a "Stand Your Ground" state, you can lose your temper and fire your gun for no reason.

[Hal Jordan @AdityaJ15]

@RupalJ_99 You’ll pop off one day I believe in you

[Hal Jordan @AdityaJ15]

@maheshkahuja @Cron Thanks!

[Hal Jordan @AdityaJ15]

@maheshkahuja @Cron [email protected]

[Hal Jordan @AdityaJ15]

What’s better: therapy or the walk-in freezer at a restaurant?

[Siberian fox @SilverVVulpes]

you will live to see man made horrors beyond your comprehension

[Trainwiz @trainwiz]

I have replaced all the dragons in Skyrim with the state of Ohio.

[SubDocta @subdocta]

relatable af

[𝐁𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐚𝐡𝐧 @Buncahn]

hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha

big congrats to all these politicians!

the STOCK act of 2012 is clearly doing what it was intended to do.

[Hal Jordan @AdityaJ15]

@chels10barge and I in two years ❤️❤️🥰

[The Onion @TheOnion]

‘Care To Explain?’ Ask Conservative Parents After Finding Vaccine Card In Son’s Underwear Drawer https://t.co/p3q1BvmrD2

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Revolutionary New Driverless Car Requires Zero Functional Technology To Generate Profit https://t.co/HODyKNucNP

[prance @bocxtop]

sundays are cool, entire day just for fighting demons and losing

[sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 @cottoncandaddy]

I’m the dad friend which is like the mom friend but instead of taking care of people I don’t answer texts and I know a thousand extremely specific facts that are in no way useful ever