Adv of Bad Parenting

My kids are great, but I just might be a bad parent. Decide for yourself.

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

Me: I don't have a middle name, but do you know what Nana used to call me? Daughter: A disappointment? Me: I have never been so hurt and yet so proud.

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

Every night, there is a fight about who loves me more and therefore gets to be next to me when we snuggle. I don’t see a problem with this. 😁

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

Baby crawls up on son. Son: Oh no! She’s getting her love on me!

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

Son: I don't like my sister. Me: Why not? Son: I don't like people who fart all the time.

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

My kids are becoming masters of the “leave one or two pieces of food in the bag so we can claim we didn’t eat it all” maneuver.

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

Daughter: Look! I got an award for Most Impressive Reader! Me: Um ... that says most *improved* reader.

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

Son: Can you come outside? The dog can watch the baby.

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

Me:Do you know what a mom's job is? Daughter:Cook and clean for the handsome husband? Wife: see what you've done? #Oops

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

Son: I woke up clean and dry can I have a reward? Daughter: No you didn't! Son: Well I woke up anyway.

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

My 4 year old is trash talking me. I should probably put a stop to it but I am laughing too hard.

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

My son a quarter of the way thru my daughter's dance recital: That was great; they should just stop now. #HeWantsToGoHome

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

Me: I'll shave every head in this house if you want.

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

I race my son upstairs every night. Today, he disappeared after dinner. I found him in his room and he looked at me and said "I won."

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

My son's wise words of the day: "I like farting."

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

Adventures in bad parenting #112: "Put that razor blade down!! ... Not where your brother can get it! What's wrong with you?" #Throwback

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

My 4 year old son is running around singing "My anaconda don't..."

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

Me: Did you feed your dinner to the dog? Son: No. Me: Did you feed your dinner to the dog?!? Son: <quietly> Probably.

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

Daughter: Dad, you need to check your ego. #StillNotaTeenager

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

Pregnant Wife: I drink all the time and pee all the time. I feel like it's all I do. Me: Well, there's the bitching.

[Adv of Bad Parenting @AdvBadParenting]

I just realized today that my son acts the same when when mom tries to wake him M-F as she acts when he wakes her on the weekends.