Abbie

save the waves

[Abbie @AFichie]

Going to name my first daughter Stacy- for obvious reasons.

[Nick shirley @nickshirleyy]

🚨 Meet Doris, she lives in California and is registered as a 126 year old who has voted in 51 elections and has NO IDEA.

California’s voting system is so corrupt that by simply knocking on the door of the “126 year old” proves election fraud.

EXPOSE IT ALL.

[Nick shirley @nickshirleyy]

@GavinNewsom Not sure if your comms guy read who Patrick Bateman is… but I don’t think comparing yourself to Patrick Bateman is the flex you think it is

[notyourdad666 @cherrybomb3r1]

Any time I hang out with more than 10 people I feel like I’m in brockhampton

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

The Trader Joe's cashiers are using their secret bell language to talk shit about me again

[Abbie @AFichie]

Pepperdine is on fire because it’s a dry campus…

[Abbie @AFichie]

@pepperdine is on fire because it’s a dry campus…

[Fan Account @breatheonmiley]

Petition for RCA Records to release Scary by Britney Spears on streaming platforms.

It's the only song from Femme Fatale that was written by the Princess of Pop and has potential to become a Halloween classic. It's early 2010s pop perfection.

[Abbie @AFichie]

@HealthEquity is the worst company I’ve ever had to deal with. Ironically they have caused my mental health to be at an all time low.

[Abbie @AFichie]

If you don’t lie to your therapist you really don’t need one

[Abbie @AFichie]

Zoom: your internet connection is unstable
Me: she’s not the only one

[Abbie @AFichie]

My favorite memory is when I got my harmonica taken by security when I went to Disneyland.

[Abbie @AFichie]

I identify as Yo yo Ma’s cousin “lil nepotiz”

[Abbie @AFichie]

@delanerys

[Abbie @AFichie]

@FichtnerDean *siri, play ‘tell it to the judge’ by the monotones*

[Abbie @AFichie]

If you do something illegal just say “oopsie woopsies” and 35% of the time they will drop the charges

[xtini 🍸 @walsh_inmachine]

@charlottenaquin I’m losing my shit rn

[Abbie @AFichie]

If you live in an apartment within earshot of mine you have to legally disclose that you have toddlers before you’re allowed to move in

[Abbie @AFichie]

@ThatEricAlper The Mick @FichtnerDean

[Abbie @AFichie]

The best Beatle was George Harrison and I will not be taking questions at this time.