"I didn't decide. There was no myself to do it for soon enough. I wasn't too comfortable or comfortable enough. Wasn't properly lost... I'll make a decision eventually. And not rethink it towards not thinking it harder. Certainly. Because I knew that most of the mental..."
These characters annoy me to the utmost degree, but I want to talk to them, ask them questions, know what's going through their mind, and, then, maybe, never see each other again. Or, maybe, have a new friend or two. I think I just feel a lack of connection to other trans people.
Having zero irl trans community has made watching Louise Weard's Castration Movie i & ii an unbearable experience. I really want to like it, but everyone seems excruciating to be around. I don't recognize any of it, except from online Discourse, which is insufferable.
The problems of identity come up: this is supposed to be My Community, but everything is so removed from my experience that my body rejects it. The identitary closeness makes the experiential distance feel repulsive. I don't think this is positive, obviously, but it's visceral.
@JoyMoone I agree. I've had several of my cisgirl friends tell me that they've learned so much about being a woman, and so many different ways of being a woman, with me