Cherries & Enigmas

Like a caterpillar that came out of its cocoon a shark, with a gun for a face

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

If the recipe you posted doesn't have a "jump to recipe" button, I'm never ever going to make it.
I dont give a rats ass WHY you made the dish.

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

Me to my husband:
Look at this skunk video!
Him: I wonder what it would be like to have a skunk as a pet
Me: I either want a skunk or giant cat
Him: Giant cat.
Me: ok, but now I need $300 for the giant cat

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

To all the ladies out there, there is a difference between a man who is a narcissist and one that just doesn't like you

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

If you had told me 20 years ago, that I could tell my dad that I'm going to a weed festival, and he would be supportive about it...

I would have assumed he was long dead and some new dad came along

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

You don't realize how drunk you are until you try to buy flamin' hot doritos at the gas station, to compliment your ranch salad from dions

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

Conversations in the lab:
"Can I smell your cherry pie? "

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

The closest I get to God is seeing my favorite bands live.

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

Every time a bar guest develops a crush on me,

I remind them that I have my dog's testicles in my freezer, bc I find it funny.

#wetspecimen #balls #bartender #badassukrainianwomen

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

Wizard of Oz is on, and all I can think is
"Man, that dog is super duper dead now"

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

Conversations at the lab:

"...and if a lady gives you a jar of baby blood, you say THANK YOU"

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

I love that my husband is impressed by my plant obsession. He even promotes it.

Meanwhile, with each plant I buy, I think I'm mentally spiraling further and further down a dark rabbit hole, to which I will stay forever.

So thats neat.

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

🇺🇦

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

I dont think I'm as loved as they say i am

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

@byzrk Thats a whole NEW can of worms lol

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

"Make sure you tip the stripper with the c-section scar, cuz you know she has kids"
-conversations in the lab

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

...A little hope it better than nothing, when you're running on hate like its love

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

... and now, we pray

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

Millennials turned chicken nuggets into boneless wings, Lunchables into charcuterie boards.

So essentially, we're all still children?

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

Everything sucks and i hate it.

[Cherries & Enigmas @AJAX222]

Just a girl and her 3 headed dog, out for a stroll 🥰