Ligma Balls

• Dad • Husband • Pet Owner • Hunter • Angler •

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

I’m the dude, playin a dude, disguised as another dude.

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

I’ll fuck men, I’ll fuck women, I’ll fuck transexuals, and I’ll have a mighty fine time doing it.

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days.

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

No “Short Eyes” on the yard.

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

Pity Parties are the best kind of parties.

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

Let ya nuts hang.

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

@suilujegnaro

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

You’re not a regular mom, you’re a cool mom.

[kelz @suilujegnaro]

Lily’s friend just told her that I’m a way cooler mom than her own mother, so I’ve got that going for me.

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

I wanna kill myself, but no one believes me.

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

Lately I been leanin hard on this tech

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

Everybody telling me life’s short, but I wanna die.

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

You know what really gets my dick hard? Helping out a friend.

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

99% percent of the time, it works every time.

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

PLEASE BRING BACK THE COOL RANCH DLT’S @tacobell

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

My 9yo daughter is into “scary” movies now. Even though she closes her eyes and covers her ears through most of the movie.

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

Bitches that broke my heart, they became hoes I scam.

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

Fuck you, fuck your family, fuck any of your friends, and fuck your dumb tattoos. FUCK YOU!

[Ligma Balls @AlanWinery]

I miss the old @ufc days. @danawhite @rampagejackson @joerogan https://t.co/wGcNvWEpno

[kelz @suilujegnaro]

IF ANYONE SEES JOHHNY TRUELOVE, TELL HIM JAKE MAZURSKY IS LOOKING FOR HIM. Thank you...

[kelz @suilujegnaro]

My husband and I have been blaring this album on our road trips for the last six years now. Never gets old.