Alex Campbell

Reader. Writer. VCU '20.
To the FBI agent doing my background check: this is all satire

[Alex Campbell @Albuquerquesoup]

My mood is directly correlated to how much ketchup I have left. And I just ran out

[arm’s length @armslengthblues]

merch spread for our uk/eu tour with @HotMulligan

[Justice Horn @JusticeHorn_]

Wait till she hears how the bathrooms on the plane work…

[Read Michael Hudson’s Super Imperialism @ashtonkynmama]

This kid is our propaganda king.

[rob 🍉 @ROBlNDANGER]

cat owners will hear their cat go “prrrp” in a certain tone and be like “oh one second my cat wants the heating pad turned on”

[Lincoln Michel @TheLincoln]

Fixed this for Shakespeare

[⛩️ Sumito ⛩️ @sumitomedia]

I'm standing by the chokers and fishnets at Spirit Halloween wearing a t-shirt that says "easily manipulated" wish me luck boys

[HEART ATTACK MAN @HeartAttackMane]

Good morning friends 🌞 bad morning enemies 😡

[Scott Woods @scottwoodssays]

I hate puns. There ain't a pun in the world I would ever shar...

[Alex Campbell @Albuquerquesoup]

“You shit in the Sheetz too!?”
“Why would you say that out loud?”

[Anna-Laura @annalaura_art]

the hero (1/2)

[worm adderall @___maryboy]

Are monster truck rallies a competition or is it just like a monster truck recital?

[chib @chibleee]

did the library of alexandria have a manga section

[Alex Campbell @Albuquerquesoup]

“You have the 2022 Just Dance?? You���re so cool!”

[Wendy’s @Wendys]

@BringBackMB @ModernBaseball yeah, but also really into what slaughter beach dog is doing

[jordan @JordanUhl]

The last time the federal minimum wage was increased was 13 years ago today.

It's now worth 27% less than it was on July 25, 2009.

There is no state in the country where a full-time, minimum wage worker can afford a one-bedroom apartment.