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zigged when the situation clearly called for a zag

[ricky finn @ArianaDea]

“all these pro-lifers are coming into ciao & eating veal”

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

microdosing pto by going to the bathroom at work

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@CarmineSabia @elonmusk @Target Anyone call you an idiot yet today? Idiot.

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@Reidiculous_5 So you’re a Spirit Airlines guy or what ?

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@FragilDemocracy @SteveDaines THIS!!

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I don’t watch anything w Vin Diesel in it. I think it’s a good life rule.

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Me: Reality television is a complete waste of brain power and time

Me when the live season premier of @LoveisBlindShow is delayed:

[Coach Bo @ifieatyoueat]

@netflix @LoveisBlindShow This is worse then the national athem by fergie need to stop worrying about screen sharing and worry about live streaming seems to be you alls issue

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Life update: currently drinking the worst margarita I’ve ever had.

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

while i’m not a fan of donald trump, it is chilling to realize that this could happen to any one of us after livetweeting 34 consecutive crimes

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“If I was in open water with a shark and a gun, I’d shoot myself.”

[hard balls @ballsonhard]

@kelly_scraps

[lil Koochie Mane @sampair51]

@WWE is less scripted than the @NFL

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@AlexMaggardTB @SportsCenter Came to the comments for this

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@Reidiculous_5 My tweet’s overall success 🤝🏻 your endorsement

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Why? So my high ass can leave them on the counter at home?

[rowan ☆ @myhonestfface]

bring back physical concert tickets

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@analieselasky Open to suggestions.

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I used to be a vibrant, young woman.

Now I listen to the same radio show every morning on my way to my 9-5 corporate job.

[Matt. @MattTheBrand]

instead of “meal prepping” have you considered that you could “freak out” and “eat crackers”

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@katashleyt Def not