AlgorMortis

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

@FionaOLoughlin_ You've long been an inspiration, sometimes in retrospective not a good one, but you're awesome and I play your work as I work (I'm a mortician/embalmer) and you keep me sane, I never feel alone or weird hearing your own weirdness. Never change. Well, don't drink, but be you

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

Why isn't the funeral industry named as an essential industry?
#funeralindustryisessential

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

Brandy and a 2 gauge hypodermic needle is not the answer... pharmaceutical are....

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

@lachiechapman after watching crashing you made a shitty day sweeter, singing along to this made a gal forget the death she dealt with... considering I prefer prog and heavy metal, you did good by Sydney gal

https://t.co/d4wUBaRC2c

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

How to make historical sexual assault allegations disappear... crash a helicopter #KobeBryant #MeToo

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

"We think too much, but feel too little"
#charliechaplin

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

@jessphillips You make me believe in democracy again. I've a Tesco off brand leader @ScottMorrisonMP and he's utter shite, but if we had you here and not this inbred no name flailing cunt Scot Morrison snake, you'd make everything better.. migrate here and fix this please?

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

@EdGambleComedy @Herring1967 @OffMenuOfficial Giles makes yummy
Makes me feel old... loved it

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

#news @piersmorgan
@charliepick
So it's 2020 and shit's cooked, old mate in the corner is muttering racist shit and the proverbial fridge smells like something crawled up and died.... but let's look toward a good thing... the monarchy is crumbling, Australia will be a republic x

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

#putinacondom #letsdancetojoydivision #fuckautrocracy
#TrumpRallyNJ trump is the gaping hole man bitch Putin only fills when no one else wants to.

#comeatmebitches

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

My long weekend plans #InvasionDay2020 #girlscanbecrasstoo

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

@ScottMorrisonMP @ScottMorrisson what have you done today? What have you actually done? Please persuade me, I'd like to to be swayed.... I know there's no election, but humour me.

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

Why did the kid fall off his bike?
Someone threw a fridge at him. #90skids

[Malcolm Tucker @Malcolmsquotes]

I went golfing with Stephen Hawking, he's fucking shit. He lied about his handicap.

[Fiona O'Loughlin @FionaOLoughlin_]

In other tips I’m learning from my inexplicable obsession with Forensic Files; Broad Daylight seems to be the most dangerous part of the waking hours.

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

So it's 2020, shit's cooked, old mate in the corner is muttering racist shit and the proverbial fridge smells like something crawled up and died.... but let's look toward a good thing... the monarchy is crumbling, Australia may well be a republic soon... #ozrepublic #balls

[Mike Carlton @MikeCarlton01]

It’s actually theft. McKenzie blatantly stealing taxpayers’ money for the LNP election campaign. Labor ought to refer the whole stinking mess to the AFP. And renew its demands for a federal ICAC. https://t.co/uqwv0CWRIM

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

@adamrichard I thought I was alone and insane thinking this. My sanity lives another day!

[Kevin Rudd @MrKRudd]

The National Party’s Deputy Leader gets caught red-handed rorting a $100M taxpayer fund and @theheraldsun editor Sam Weir buries the story on page 4. Imagine what he would have done this was one of my ministers! This protection racket destroys democracy. #MurdochRoyalCommission

[AlgorMortis @AlgorMortis8]

One of my favourite terms in my industry is Virgin grave... which other industry can claim an undug hole as a positive? #careerwinning