Alison Hand

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

Why the FUCK does my vyvanse make me so tired?!

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

Is it like a rule that every Amazon review video has to include a smoke detector with dying batteries?

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

I was put on this earth to experience pain

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

My dog be crop dusting everybody

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

Why is there no strawberry pudding?

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

If you want to test your relationship, build something with your significant other

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

Never ask a man to do anything. You’re just creating more work for yourself.

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

I’m not human without music

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

Death by mucus

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

Me and my juice we sit in silence

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

Where was My Kink Is Karma when I was 18?

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

I fucking love vegetables

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

I wish so much unhappiness to the sadist who designed the Sumeru region

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

I know the general population is stupid because Divergent is a popular thing

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

Why do I feel like if anything good happens to me it must be a mistake?

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

I’m more stable but much less fun now

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

Wtf

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

Blue Eye Samurai turned me fucking gay

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

I wonder if anyone fantasizes about telling me off

[Alison Hand @AlisonHand]

My picky ass kitten is headed in the direction of me having to cook him every fucking meal