Houston Realtor @alkempkey - Twitter Profile

over 4 years ago

My new favorite show is my 5 year old absolutely butchering song lyrics. #savagelove according to her: Sad bitch lord, Handsome buddy, Handsome buddy, Backyard farts. #butcheredlyrics

2

4

0

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

over 4 years ago

@ElizabethMerck Dog food. Instant vomit.

0

2

0

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

almost 5 years ago

@krisstraub I have, and will continue to, shamelessly jam my face between my neighbors shoulder and their seat and hide.

0

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

almost 5 years ago

@RegretaGarbo Yes. I’m there now too. Night night.

0

Who to follow

Renita Scroggins - Houston Area REALTOR®

@RenitaScroggins

Houston area Real Estate Broker Associate committed to maximizing Seller's equity and building wealth for Buyers through purchasing real estate.

Local MOM Asses

@localmomasses

we're all about that LEGIT local mom ass and things alike. (we're dudes so no dick pics!) #LMA submissions -- send your pics to [email protected]

Jennifer & Benjamin Yoingco, Houston Real Estate

@jyoingco7

✝️Family Operated ◦ Real Estate Agent Duo 📍Serving The Greater Houston Area! 🌆 🏡New Home Construction Specialists ✨Top Listing and Relocation Experts ⬇

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

almost 5 years ago

@BUENX143 It’s so good. I feel old though.

0

3

0

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

almost 5 years ago

@MetroUK So, cocaine hippos have more rights than a woman here in Texas. Okay.

0

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

almost 5 years ago

@TychoBrahe Doctors, therapists, specialists all gave my mom lists of ‘she will never’. She knew better.

0

1

0

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

almost 5 years ago

@clairecmc Hominy! Just add milk, butter and sugar!

0

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

almost 5 years ago

@North00 Dispute the charge.

0

1

0

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

almost 5 years ago

@Peeardee The dragon shout imaginary therapeutic destruction is a real tool for mental health.

0

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

almost 5 years ago

@Peeardee My grams always called buttermilk pie ‘depression pie’ because her mom made it a lot during the depression. I see it as the North American version of tres leches cake.

1

0

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

almost 5 years ago

@Jasmogoth @TelegraphWorld Have you ever played marbles? That’s what my chronic anxiety is picturing. 😂

2

1

0

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

almost 5 years ago

@gavgreco @Sellak Omg I gag-cackled and watched it six more times.

0

1

0

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

almost 5 years ago

@Peeardee And will there be crafting?

0

1

0

Houston Realtor @AlKempkey

almost 5 years ago

New obsession in our house- my five year old and the show @NailedIt Hazel wants to be @nicolebyer for Halloween and she has started practicing to be on the show.

0

AlKempkey retweeted

Robert Reich

@RBReich

almost 5 years ago

In the 20 years since 9/11, the United States spent $8,000,000,000,000+ on war. Can you imagine if we had instead invested those funds in climate, health care, and education?

1K

47K

9K

141

0