Lauren Bass

Come on in, we're exclusive!

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

My #selfloathing makes me a #Rick. There. I did it, I made a #Mainstream reference to my #Blog that has a post that is also about selfloathing.
https://t.co/JEheIJduaZ

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

@rainnwilson They'd be less expensive, due to our lack of value for human life.

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

is it bad that #daylightsavings happened a while ago and i'm just now changing my clocks?

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

#showerthoughts : i wash the people but the people rarely wash me #sentience #hurt

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

#showerthoughts : every time I see her, she gets naked and just stands in front of me. Is she hitting on me? #sentience

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

#showerthoughts: she could be sweating and i'd have no idea #sentience

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

sexiest thing to say to a woman:
"Want to watch a movie and take a nap?" #RelationshipGoals #MOVIESandCHILLatChamps

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

everyone whines about the #weather but no one is willing to sacrifice a virgin to change it #lazy #boo #millenials

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

@rainnwilson isn't it an honor to be a part of the Pooptarts Project?

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

If I knew you were going to be this #Salty I would have brought a bottle of tequila

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

2016
an extremely corrupt politician. a clueless billionaire. dead barrier reef. no oranges. no more disneyworld. lots of unsettling MAYBE's

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

2016:
good thing we're keeping good documentation of all the shit that's going down. no one in the future will believe us otherwise.

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

when i notice an actor hasnt been gettin much work lately i feel sad & i wish i knew them personally so it wont be as weird when i hug them

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

eagle bumps into something & says "oh excuse me" he looks 2 c that it was just a tree branch needless to say, he felt a bit hawkward #punny

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

you need something to do? go pound Jermey's meat. #kitchentalk

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

the corner of my neck itches #shitmyboyfriendsays

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

after that #Debate2016 debate, I'm done: I'm moving to the bottom of the #sea where the only candidates are meal choices

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

I'm home now #SDINHD

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

Hell Yeah PADRES #SDINHD

[Lauren Bass @almostexclusiv]

Hell Yeah PADRES!!!!!