Insomnia Expert

”Winners get to do what they want.” – Will Ferrell

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

@SecondhandFrog I love you

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

@realDonaldTrump Hi I'm just curious why do you smell like farts?

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

Overheard at the airport
Guy 1: what is panna cotta?
Guy 2: its like a gelatanized..... like a gelatin...with yeast.

No one tell Italy they are already upset at us.

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

@RepDarrenSoto Who paid you to sponsor this bill?

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

@RepDarrenSoto how are you going to call yourself a Democrat and then come up with some BS "Protecting Local Zoos" act? Are you sad theres not another season of Tiger King or something? Do you hate animals? Even the zoos this bill is supposed to "protect" dont want this.

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

@anthony_burch is both my ideal DM and my ideal DM

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

I appreciate @SHEIN_Official out here representing shark bite victims.

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

Friendly reminder that cops are actually NOT here to prevent and serve :)

[SecondhandFrog🧵🐸 @SecondhandFrog]

Its that time of year again where I make another turn around the pond... (its also my affiliate-versary) Please join me in an un-frog-gettable time!!

Froggy Graphic Artist: @ChrysellaLuv

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

The Challenge but call it The Confession

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

I'm pretty upset that the Vatican didn't decide to take the opportunity to create a pope themed reality show. So many possibilities #popewatch

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

Survivor: Pope Island

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

The Bachelor: Pope Edition

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

Alright. I'll say it. We're all thinking it. @JDVance killed the pope.

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

Oh shit posted too soon OK GOOGLE DELETE TWEET

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

T Kelce proposes to T Swift after superbowl win!

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

Who is everyone rooting for, Eagles or Refs? #SuperBowlLIX

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

FLAG! You're not allowed to try to tackle Mahomes

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

@lyft @AskLyft how come I ordered a "wait and save" lyft promising me a driver assigned to me WITHIN 1 hour but at an hour and 15 minutes I still have no driver? According to your app i should be home already. Explain?

[Insomnia Expert @AlmostxGhost]

@SenpaiSquadNet @HolidayMatsuri @FindTheRabbit Is it too late to RSVP?