John Balding

Alpecin Caffeine’s no.1 fan. Central Defensive Mediocentro Pivot Deep Lying Trequartista @RedStarWomble

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

@awolowu @StavrosSharter @hawt_drip @BarrySkirtSkirt @EMcGnarly9 @RedStarWomble @GaryLineker Born: the Cotswolds
Nationality: British
I live: Windsor
Best friend: my Alpecin Shampoo
Girlfriend: my best friend is my girlfriend
Hobby: applying my alpecin shampoo daily and writing strongly worded emails to head and shoulders. Also like to read a good novel
This was fun!

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

@EMcGnarly9 I don’t really understand the question but I think he would be a korma because he isn’t very spicy if you know what I mean? Hope you understand me here

[Ewan McGnarly @EMcGnarly9]

🚨 WARNING 🚨 It has been brung to my attention that @awolowu may in fact be @sean Paul in disguise. This is BEING TREATED VERY SERIOUSLY by everyone at @RedStarWomble. Attached is an overgwleing evidence that this is potentially COMPLETELY TRUE

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

@BarrySkirtSkirt No

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

I had two really good games today as the box to box midfielder - 8.2 and 9.1 / 1 goal and 1 assist. I hope one day I will get a man of the match

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

Good game from me. 8.2 rating from the mezzala pivot role. If only the strikers performed as well as I did.

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

1 assist so far. Good first half. Not happy with Clive for obvious reasons.

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

I am finally starting in my favourite mediocentro position today, I will be controlling the pace of the game.

[Ewan McGnarly @EMcGnarly9]

@AlpecinJohn123 Yes definitely!! If Ewant us to score, past to me!

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

@RedStarWomble @EMcGnarly9 I think this is the hackers at work again, everyone else knows Ewan lost his manhood in a Curling incident

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

I have just woken up to see messages from our club I think they have been hacked DO NOT CONTACT @RedStarWomble I think the 5G masts have something to do with this can you help @Twitter

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

Hi Ewan do you want me to pass to you during the game today I think you might score

[Red Star Womble @RedStarWomble]

Good morning all you #WombleMad #Wombles out there, today is a new day and time for the club to get back on track. Please get in touch in the replies with your favourite #Wombles moments from our rich and illustrious history, for the chance to win a retweet! #WomblingFretweet

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

@awolowu @RedStarWomble Hi Awo i think this was meant for me I told you the head and shoulders is no good for your brain PLEASE PUT IT IN THE RUBBISH

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

@RedStarWomble I think defending is the best form of attacking so I will say backwards because I get to control the ball and initiate plays when safe to do so

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

I have calmed down now and can’t wait to cement my position in the middle by controlling the game from afar. I have been working on my passing the boys will be delighted I can’t wait

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

I know they don’t sometimes appreciate my work as the box to box mezzala but without me they would never see the ball. Hope we win today although am nervous lol

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

@awolowu @Headshoulders @AlpecinDE AWO PLEASE GET RID OF IT THEY MAKE YOU BALD

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

Twitter needs to know about the idiots at @Headshoulders 😡 on the left is my head after using them for 24 years and on the right is my head after using @AlpecinDE for 2 years. I WILL BE SUING HEAD AND SHOULDERS PLEASE RETWEET

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

@StavrosSharter @Headshoulders @AlpecinDE This is not funny Stavvy you know they made me bald why would you tweet something like this when I am trying to get the help I need

[John Balding @AlpecinJohn123]

@TheSun @DailyMirror @DailyMailUK @dailystar