Alternative Archers

The darker side of Ambridge. “An uncensored everyday story of country folk”

[Alternative Archers @AlternateArcher]

John:

Hello Gran! I was out ploughing and I heard you were here!

How’s Tom and Helen?

Have you seen Jack?

#thearchers

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Jennifer:

Oh! Mum!

You’re here!

What a wonderful surprise!

Let me get you a G&T and then you can tell me everything.

*hugs Peggy*

#thearchers

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Clarrie:

SUSAN! I can’t do it on my own!

I don’t like talking at the window!!!

#TheArchers

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Susan: What if it’s me Clarrie! I’d have to go back to work in entertainment.

Clarrie: Entertainment?

Susan: Radio Clarrie.
I was a DJ.
Like @scott_mills and @sarajcox

#TheArchers

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Clarrie:

Susan. It’ll be me!

After I poisoned the ice cream with my dicky tum all those years ago - I’ll be picked.

#TheArchers

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Joy:

I GET TO SEE THE GIN AND TONIC TAP!

I GET TO SEE THE GIN AND TONIC TAP!

#TheArchers

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David: One of life’s many mysteries:

Who leaves a baby abandoned on a door step?

Who doesn’t pick up after their dogs?

Who makes brother in law go up on the roof in the winter to remove a flapping banner?

#TheArchers

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Fallon: Mums my boss, but she’s not too bad - she’s better that Ruth - she just tore strips off of me and bitched about the mess.

#TheArchers

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Emma: I don’t wanna talk about me!

Shula: What?!!! I would. Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me

#TheArchers

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Emma:

Hang on a minute Ed…….

YOU’VE. BEEN. READING?

#TheArchers

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Lillian:

Is that Brenda on the phone Kirsty?

Tell her to run along.

*cackles*

#TheArchers

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Natasha:
Oh.
Kirsty.
We’ll tell Helen when we are ready.
#TheArchers

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Tom: NATASHA!
I’m not making my sister homeless.
I can’t bear to think of her living at the bottom of Lakey Hill at Christmas #TheArchers

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Clarrie:

Ere’ Eddie. Let’s get rid of all that old junk in the barn and have a bonfire.

We could use the ridiculous scripts we’ve had this week as kindling to light it.

#TheArchers

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Faith: OhMyGawd. Chuck, look, that woman serving at the bar……see her there…..is she country singing sensation Jolene Rogers?
🙄

#TheArchers

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Kenton: Me! Instead of hair brained money making ideas, last week I thought it would be good for business to let a rusted out old camper van park in the pub car park to boost business (and Jolene’s fortune)
#TheArchers

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Alice: Everything feels a bit off? Anyone else feeling this?

Ruth: Me! I was a real scratchy bitch the other day.

Alice: Strange - unlike you Ruth! Anyone else?

#TheArchers

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Hilda: Me! I had my own storyline recently.

#TheArchers

[Alternative Archers @AlternateArcher]

Alice: Everything feels a bit off? Anyone else feeling this?

Ruth: Me! I was a real scratchy bitch the other day.

Alice: Strange - unlike you Ruth! Anyone else?

#TheArchers

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George: Me! I’m a tough bad ass in prison now and still said “Nana”

#TheArchers

[Alternative Archers @AlternateArcher]

Alice: Everything feels a bit off? Anyone else feeling this?

Ruth: Me! I was a real scratchy bitch the other day.

Alice: Strange - unlike you Ruth! Anyone else?

#TheArchers

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Justin: Me! I had my own few weird Scrooge days the other week.

Alice: yes, you were talking to an AI Rex! Anyone else?

#TheArchers

[Alternative Archers @AlternateArcher]

Alice: Everything feels a bit off? Anyone else feeling this?

Ruth: Me! I was a real scratchy bitch the other day.

Alice: Strange - unlike you Ruth! Anyone else?

#TheArchers

[Alternative Archers @AlternateArcher]

Jolene: Me! I’ve suddenly got loads of money to lend to Fallon.

Alice: What’s going on? Anyone else?

#TheArchers

[Alternative Archers @AlternateArcher]

Alice: Everything feels a bit off? Anyone else feeling this?

Ruth: Me! I was a real scratchy bitch the other day.

Alice: Strange - unlike you Ruth! Anyone else?

#TheArchers