Altruistic Ape

I like turtles and my cat's breath smells like cat food.

[Stittsville On Patrol @StittsPatrol]

BIG NEWS...

Stittsville on Patrol renewed for SEASON 2!!

[Benjamin Milks @brian5or6]

A wicked article about our show premiering tomorrow!! @StittsPatrol @StittsCentral

https://t.co/5EeqN01V0w

[Altruistic Ape @AltruisticApe]

@ctvottawa next thing you know the state will force me to wear pants and underwear in restaurants because I'm "making the staff and patrons uncomfortable" and that "looking at your pale misshapen body is ruining everyone's appetite".

[Altruistic Ape @AltruisticApe]

@AndyRichter ahhh, da smella my nonna's scungilli....

[Chris Hadfield @Cmdr_Hadfield]

I made a video to celebrate the new year of amazing things happening on Earth - An Astronaut's Guide to Optimism 2020. I hope you like it!
https://t.co/0LtRCqtRKl

[Altruistic Ape @AltruisticApe]

@CTVNews If poo particles are gonna take me out, so be it

[Altruistic Ape @AltruisticApe]

@Cmdr_Hadfield My nickname in college was "ol' belly tile" due to my alcoholism. I spent many hours facedown and shirtless in kitchens.

[Altruistic Ape @AltruisticApe]

@AngryManTV @joerogan reminds me of the 1975 classic A Boy and His Dog

[Altruistic Ape @AltruisticApe]

@senssensei @Gerv_Rebrand she makes a mean pasta alla norma and has hysterical codependent relationships with her children

[Altruistic Ape @AltruisticApe]

@senssensei Event Horizon

[Altruistic Ape @AltruisticApe]

@JeffDye I hear it smells like shit

[Altruistic Ape @AltruisticApe]

@brian5or6 JUST underwear

[Altruistic Ape @AltruisticApe]

@OttawaCitizen Pot shops would take jobs away from the traditional mom-and-pop cocaine/opioid/meth dealers of post-manufacturing Ontario small towns. I for one won't sit on the sidelines and watch it happen!

[Altruistic Ape @AltruisticApe]

@CBCOttawa I'm still sniffing on the same tube of model airplane glue from 1991, very cost effective. This man gets it!

[Altruistic Ape @AltruisticApe]

@Shwoodge there's a lot going on in that vid....the chorus hooked me and everything else is just gravy.....pants gravy