Ausitn Massey

[Ausitn Massey @aMass]

Live Football Streams Online http://t.co/b5w8pG5Vx6

[Ausitn Massey @aMass]

Great read.
Frank Sinatra Has a Cold http://t.co/INaT3J63 via @EsquireMag

[Bill Maher @billmaher]

There it is! The 47%! Saved it as a haymaker for the end. Nice

[ali waller @imaliwaller]

Normally, when politicians address women named Candy, it's under WAY different circumstances. #debate

[Ryan @BaseballTweets5]

#ThingsEasierThanEliminatingTheCardinals finding someone who was alive the last time the Cubs won a World Series

[Torty Craig @TortyCraig]

Jason Motte's beard > Jayson Werth's beard

[Jenny Johnson @JennyJohnsonHi5]

I'm voting for the first one who makes the jerk-off motion while the other one is talking. #Debate

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Campaign stress is getting to Romney. I hear he's up to 4 ginger ales a day.

[MLB @MLB]

NL WILD CARD UPDATE: @Cardinals lead @Dodgers and @Brewers by 4 1/2 games. Their magic number to clinch is 4.

[Jim Rome @jimrome]

Looks like Tony Romo's been taking mental notes. Then again, it's not December.

[Rob Riggle @RobRiggle]

I know it's early Pre-Season, but I think the Chiefs are gonna win the Superbowl!

[Dan Duvall @DanDuvallComedy]

This warm box of chicken broth is probably the worst juice I've ever had.

[Ausitn Massey @aMass]

CC and the Limozeenz http://t.co/5Nim1kzO

[Dan Duvall @DanDuvallComedy]

Elementary schools should provide field trips to my house so they can see what an inappropriate amount of bacon looks like.

[Ausitn Massey @aMass]

@AdamCarollaShow Iced Passion Tea. If this is wrong, I don't want to be right.

[Katy Steinmetz @katysteinmetz]

At the National Press Club luncheon with Alec Baldwin. Here's hoping the Q&A somehow leads him to "What am I, a farmer?"

[Ausitn Massey @aMass]

@prinmeowmeow what a hussy.

[Ausitn Massey @aMass]

@jayscherder Promise?

[Ausitn Massey @aMass]

@theREALkstew417 Kony Kardashian?

[Ausitn Massey @aMass]

Well damn. I need a plan B #LearnedItFromLindy
RT @TheBiggIdea: Saying "we'll figure it out" is a great way to prolong a terrible situation