KimJongMom

This is a dictatorship y'all. Call us Kim Jong Mom and Dadmir Putin. Mom of 3, Master of None.

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

Coming in for a landing with @HarbourAirLtd #beautifulBC

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

When it's 1am and you realize you haven't caught up on the @BacheloretteABC & you're meeting your bff first thing over coffee to discuss

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

@CherchezLaPorsh Yup

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

What will repercussion of #JohnnyDepp trump joke be?Probly like @billmaher nonpunishment & less like @kathygriffin crucificat'n bc #whitemen

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

Just opened up a bag of #saltandvinegar chips only to find out that it's all salt and no vinegar #wtf @TraderJoesRants #tradersjoes #fail

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

@Janefonda Have you heard of @tahirihjustice? They are leading policy protections required for women like Sangita. @meredithvieira MC'Ed their gala

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

Just as I was thinking of the elegance & grace that is @Janefonda she sticks her #feet in the kitchen sink for a rinse @GraceandFrankie #no😂

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

Ordered spray bottle w #urgency & was agitated that it would take 2 days to arrive.It got here today. No idea what it's for 😳#mombrain

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

I'm such a #controlfreak that I just forced the nurse to take my #urinesample even tho she insisted the doctor wouldn't need it

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

Me in interview: I am a harder worker & a dedicated #employee. Also Me: #adultingishard

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

If you really want to #torture the terrorists send them #househunting in the #BayArea. They'll be begging for #Gitmo & accoms will be nicer

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

Someone needs to create an #SUV that does all the cool sh*t that #minivans do cause that 2018 @Honda #Odyssey is giving me #allkindsofeels

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

#dadsandgrads sounds so dirty and it's probably way more common

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

Me:I dunno how I'm going to pass physics #ImmigrantMom:When you study think of all girls back home who not allowed 2 read or they get stoned

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

Me: the traffic was hell today #ImmigrantMom: It couldn't have been as bad as when we escaped thru the desert hidden with the livestock

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

Me: mom I'm so sad I have no friends #ImmigrantMom: psh when I your age my only friends were soldiers protecting village against bandits

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

#Immigrantparents are the least welcome to my #pityparty. Cuz no matter how bad ur day/month/year has been their whole life has been worse

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

My #kids are playing #Amazon. Not like the #jungle but like the #delivery service @amazon. #imighthaveaproblem #iloveamazon

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

Best part about #kids sleeping in our bed: they sleep in in the #mornings.Worst part? I can't sleep in past foot in my face o'clock #momlife

[KimJongMom @aMoMplishments]

Or maybe it's to be really #ugly and have really #beautiful #kids 🤔 #competition #whatcouldhavebeen