Amy Silverberg

Writer & Comedian!!! Pre-order my debut novel here:

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

@danadonnelly Speak for us!!!

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

My students are so much more sophisticated than i was in college. They’re all making art, and writing short films about how they can’t c*m on antidepressants and i was sleeping with frat guys who thought my name was amanda

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

Today my (American) friend decided to stop hooking up with a British guy who’s been stringing her along for years so happy Independence Day to my one friend

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

Great to be a comedian!!! Every conversation with my manager is like, hey a club called “Tee Hee Tee Hoo Hee Ha” in the outskirts of Philly wants you to come perform for two five dollar bills and a baseball card!!!! (And i come running)

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

I got news for u a lot of your boyfriends want to fuck a dragon from game of thrones

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

There’s an old woman in one of the book clubs i facilitate who just sleeps through the entire meeting every month and i’m jealous of her and glad she’s paying me for a nice little nap

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

When i see a dog with three legs, i think to myself, still has one more leg than me

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

@Scionoobydoo @SithOfGallifrey I have no idea what the fuck ur talking about scooby doo! But i fuckin looove scooby doo!!!!!!!

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

The LA mayoral election was stolen!! I am a 52 yo bald man in Dayton, Ohio!!! I am considering going to Turkey for a hair transplant!!! My kids don’t speak to me!!! The last book I read was how to win friends & influence people!!!!!!! With my new hair I will become mayor of Earth

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

Me after betting on the knicks with no knowledge of stats

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

never seen any of the despicable me or minion movies. i’m saving myself for the right person

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

@vayraxa @DPASS18

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

I’m a type 1 juvenile diabetic which is to say my pancreas quiet quit when i was 10 years old

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

a daddy long legs spider was in the bathroom watching me pee and it really freaked me out. he was jacking off.

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

fucking rude let em sleep

[Más Ciencia @MsCiencia2]

Capibara roncando fuerte. Los capibaras son los roedores más grandes del mundo y pueden roncar tan fuerte que parecen motores.

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

imagine being that beret on John Travolta's head like "damn this guy's jaunty"

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

quick q: have u ever met a normal dog trainer

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

I miss when I was 9 years old and a glass of Martinelli's sparkling cider made me feel like I owned a high rise in Manhattan

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

Wrote a little essay about facilitating book clubs for the @latimes: https://t.co/ABclBKT6Ta

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

Every night when I lay in bed, my pulse races and I can’t fall asleep. Is it the state of the country that has me terrified? Yes. The state of the world? Also yes. My own past regrets both minor & large? Of course, yes. The five shots of espresso I drank? No!!!!!