I used to scoff at consumerism like a cool gen x misanthrope. Then I discovered overpriced scandinavian clothes that make you look like a retired soviet chess player
murdoch described ‘unselfing’ as the moment your self drops when you really look at something beautiful (a sunset, a view, a piece of art), and love requires the same drop; the capacity to see another person as they actually are, not as an extension of your own needs or narrative
Also you can be insecure without projecting, sniping at people, evil eyeing bitches, hating from outside the club, etc. Everyone is a lil insecure & when you stop putting ppl on pedestals so you can knock them off of the pedestal, life gets a lot easier and funner !