The better way to think about “how can I not traumatize my children?” is “I will be open, honest, loving and so that my children know humans make mistakes and apologize when they do things they’re not proud of” All parents wound their children, and that’s ok.
You deserve a calm love with someone that's good for your mental health and nervous system. Someone who is your safe space, your best friend, and always has your back. Someone who naturally soothes your mind, body and soul.
You might not always *feel* good in a safe relationship. You will be challenged. You will feel discomfort. But a safe partner doesn’t weaponize your emotions or shame you for having them.
As you get more emotionally healthy, your relationships will shift. People might feel disappointed because you are no longer playing the roles you once played. This isn’t a sign you’re doing something wrong— it’s a sign you’re doing something right.
Maturity is realizing when your mood is low and knowing that it will negatively impact your assessment of the people and things you encounter. Instead of making judgments when your mind feels turbulent, focus on moving slowly and not building unnecessary narratives.
you deserve emotional safety. you deserve connections that give you grace to honor the complexities of your day-to-day human experience. you don’t have to endure anymore painful lessons and unnecessary hardships to prove your worthiness. you’re worthy right now.
When you love yourself deeply, you may be comfortable being alone, but that doesn't mean you don't crave connection. In fact, self-love can inspire you to share that love with others and foster healthier relationships. Self-love doesn't mean loneliness.
Sometimes growth looks like spending more time alone, partying less, letting go of fruitless relationships, practicing discipline, and reemerging when you feel like yourself again.