Strawknee

Was also once dubbed “The Pizza King” and a “splendid rotter”, dream of one day waking up having won a monkey auction.

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

I got a T-shirt when I was 17 with the “Parental Advisory” sticker on the front and didn’t realise until I got home that it said “FUCK OFF” in big letters on the back.

I had to hide it from my Mum until I left home.

And that’s how cool I am.....

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

Absolutely loving the random addition to the end of this person’s LinkedIn profile.

Sorry, you’re not suitable for web developers job, but we are looking for a dancer……

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

@hunstantonsmith @_YorkshireRose_ I’m glad it’s not just me.

I regularly have people pop up in people you might know and think “that looks like WizardTits41”, then i ignore it because i don’t anyone called Bethany

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

@_YorkshireRose_ I have no idea how people cope at tweet-ups 😂

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

@IntrepidVeggie No need to apologise, but thank you

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

It would have been my Mum’s birthday today, 2nd since we lost her and it still doesn’t feel real that she’s not with us anymore.

Hold your people close because one day it will be too late x

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

@moi_cheree You’re like the Pied Piper, but for rain

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

Great Manchester Man - 1 hr 50 mins

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

@BintyMustard We need something new to start tonight, might float the idea of starting this

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

Gave in and had my hair tidied up (but not really shortened). Walked into a local bar and the barmaid (who is a friend) said “where’s your hair gone? But I like it, you look sexy. And I like your outfit too, I like it all today”

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

I’ve got a copy of this on 7” that I got off my parents. The B side is just the entire song backwards, which sounds even more deranged

[Ron wright @ronsterd89]

Does anyone remember a song called They're coming to take me Away, that was supposedly banned from the radio?

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

Was it a good idea to go for a run earlier today? Probably not

But did I enjoy it? Also no, it was horrible

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

@idlewildgirl American Football, very, very excited to see them again

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

@BintyMustard Your stars are pretty reliable

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

What’s not to like?

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

As someone who’s had some rough times over the last couple of years, I’m 100% in support of the message that @BGSTSTUDIO are helping to spread.

You’re never alone and trying to get through things on your own doesn’t make it easier

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

Quite nice up here, innit

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

Trying to chill in the sunshine but two tiny birds have been shouting at one another from adjoining trees since we came outside and it’s impeding my relaxation

[Strawknee @AndyStrawknee]

My beard trimmer ran out half way through and I didn’t bring the charger with me.

So I just finished trimming my beard with a pair of gigantic kitchen scissors, or at least attempting it