AMAC

I'm the one that always takes the joke too far.

[AMAC @animalCollie]

I love when people say “omg you’re so quiet” like yeah it’s great right, you should try it sometime🤫

[AMAC @animalCollie]

Wait, that was my first time tweeting on x. It’s still called a tweet even tho it’s no longer Twitter?! 🤔🐣

[AMAC @animalCollie]

Leaving from hanging out w someone and continuing to text/voice memo >>

[AMAC @animalCollie]

The host at my job is a 60 year old British woman and it’s great bc she’ll say stuff like “I’ve told them they can have a sit but that you’re busy and they’re not to bother you until you come to them”

[AMAC @animalCollie]

If you were my neighbor a fun game to play would be “stoned or sad” where you try to guess if I’m walking in from my car with eyes red from smoking or crying

[Joshua Valdez-Aldridge @jvacomedy]

@animalCollie - “That’s how damaged I am. An MLB player leaves me his number and I think it’s a joke.”

😮‍💨 Damn

[AMAC @animalCollie]

Dick game good but stroke game off presents such a conundrum

[AMAC @animalCollie]

“I tried to call but maybe I have the wrong number” no bitch I was screening. I knew it was you & chose not to answer.

[AMAC @animalCollie]

He’s a 10 but his favorite restaurant is a chain 🥴

[AMAC @animalCollie]

Epitome of working in the service industry: having to pop a squat to pee w 3 other people behind the hill bride & groom are actively getting their wedding pics taken on, while the photographers drone buzzes overhead

[AMAC @animalCollie]

Learning when & how to say something really is an art 😩

[AMAC @animalCollie]

People whose respect doesn’t leave the room when you do >

[AMAC @animalCollie]

If you’re rolling down the street bumpin and I look up and you’re in a broke down Kia, I’m calling false advertising and I want my money back

[AMAC @animalCollie]

My neighbors are having a karaoke party and someone is singing “secret lovers” and I want allllll the tea

[AMAC @animalCollie]

Why the fuck does everyone stand up in the aisle as soon as the plane lands? Where y’all goin?!

[Cartoon Network @cartoonnetwork]

Black inventors, heroes, and leaders are often left out of history. Ask yourself as you're learning...who is the focus? Why? Question the story ✊🏿✊🏼✊🏾✊✊🏻✊🏽💖

The Crystal Gems say BE ANTI-RACIST! Visit https://t.co/5ukinriWYO to learn more.

[AMAC @animalCollie]

Possibly the most shocking revelation of stay at home orders is that boys are in fact playing video games as much as they say they are

[AMAC @animalCollie]

Celebrities doing cooking videos is so cringe, like did no one tell them we don’t have chefs and have been making our own food this whole time?

[nannou @boredwitch_]

I am sooo tired of defending myself to men who have their own ideas of who they think I am.

[AMAC @animalCollie]

Being observant is my favorite trait