Nik

#HODL

[John Carter @martianwyrdlord]

We're banning raves, because we don't want you having fun where we can't watch you. By the way let me tell you about Woodstock.

We're cracking down on underage drinking. It's bad for you. Yeah of course we hit up the pubs at your age it was great.

We're banning smoking, but just for you - the smoking age will go up one year every year. Oh yes of course, we used to be able to smoke inside everywhere, it was great really.

We're banning flavored vapes. We don't have any evidence they're bad for you, you just like them too much.

We're banning dodgeball during recess, someone might get hurt. Yeah we really enjoyed dodgeball too.

We're banning flirting, because it might make the girls uncomfortable.

We're locking you in your room for the next two years. Yes we know you're in no danger from the virus, but we're worried that you'll get us sick. By the way you have to take this needle if you want to leave your room again. Yes, twice. Well there will be boosters too. No, we aren't worried about side effects, that doesn't effect us at all.

We're closing the frat houses, because we don't want you having fun without our permission. Please join these officially sanctioned university clubs instead.

We're bringing in labor from the third world to work the service jobs, so you can't have a summer job.

You need to go to university to get a good job. By the way we're raising the price of tuition. Oh look we're raising it again. Don't worry there are loans. At interest.

Actually we're giving the good jobs to the foreigners we just imported, to make up for our racist past. We are very good people. No of course we aren't sacrificing anything. You just have to take one for the team.

Also, we're giving the foreigners the houses. We needed to increase real estate prices. For our pensions, you see. Sadly no, you'll probably never be able to afford one yourself. By the way don't forget to pay your taxes. Need to support those pensions somehow! Eh? No, we're giving ourselves tax breaks of course. Seniors discount you know.

Oh by the way, that one thing you still have, now that we've banned joy and kicked every ladder out from under you? That social media stuff you kids like? You guessed it! We're banning that too! Just for you though, we're still going to watch AI videos on Facebook. It's for your safety, you see. We've noticed that you're all getting rather irate, and we think it would be better for your mental health if you shut up for a while. Why don't you just go outside?

Eh? No of course we aren't going to stop Ahmed and his twelve illiterate cousins from raping your sister, that would be culturally insensitive, which would make us feel very bad, and we can't have that.

[Matt Van Swol @mattvanswol]

Cute theory, let's play it out.

A monkey hoards a trillion bananas. The troop, enraged, beats him to death. They gather around the pile to feast at last.

But... oh wait, there is no pile.

It turns out the "bananas" were shares in a banana-launching company the dead monkey founded.

The shares were worth a trillion because he was alive to run it.

Now he is dead and the stock is worth $0.

The retarded monkeys have clubbed their way into a recession.

But it gets worse.

Half the "bananas" were tied up in a rocket that supplies bananas to monkeys on the far mountain who had no bananas at all.

Another chunk was tied up in a little satellite dish that beamed banana coordinates to the troop after a flood took out their trees.

So now they realized they beat to death the only monkey who knew how the dish worked.

So the monkeys sit there.

No bananas.
No rockets.
No coordinates to get more banananas.

Just a dead body and a powerful sense of fairness as they all now became infinitely poorer.

OH

And somewhere a smaller monkey watches the whole thing and quietly decides he will never build anything in front of these animals again.

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

@destinytrack @bumbadum14 Where is the lie though?

[bumbadum @bumbadum14]

WAS IT WORTH IT BUNGIE?

WERE THE DEI HIRES WORTH IT?

Your 250 MILLION dollar DEI flop just killed one of the biggest looter shooters to ever exist.

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

@RepJackKimble What an absolutely fucktarded thing to say.

[Eric Nash @EricNasher17]

Rory when he’s doesn’t get 50 practice rounds at a major venue

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

@ForePlayPod Pussy

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

I didn’t know Arne Slot was from Bournemouth

[M @25mahfuz]

Genuinely I’m so angry at this club 10 years of reestablishing itself just to let it be pissed away by some useless dickhead from Bournemouth

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

@Lemonbriz Carra’s gotta make up his mind on whether he likes the taste of Slots dick in his mouth or not.

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

Arne slot is so fucking stupid. Okay boys we are up 1-0 in like 10 minutes. Let’s just defend for 80 minutes now. Fucking imbecile

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

Fuck Arne Slot

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

FUCK Arne Slot and FUCK Zac Taylor.

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

Sergio is still such a detestable guy even in his elderly age.

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

Slot has to have an IQ of Sub 80.

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

MOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

RIOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

If my wife somehow booked a secret trip to go see Liverpool play at Anfield, I think at this time, I’d divorce her.

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

Konate is the worst player on this team. I’d gladly see anyone else play out of position than him get absolutely finessed every 2 minutes.

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

I fucking hate this Liverpool team

[Nik @AnotherNikBTC]

@LFC Yea….that oughta do it