Anthony Kapfer

i make music. i tell jokes. i wrote a book. i’ve been on tv and in movies. seen on nbc, pbs, fox, hulu, amazon prime video

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

my hypochondriac girlfriend has a birthday coming up. what do you get the woman who thinks she has everything?

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

gonna stress eat an entire pizza tonight

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

one of project 2025’s main policy plans is that hulkamania will be running wild

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

@dan_pasko enjoy it while you can

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

the supreme court just issued a ruling that said we can all go fuck ourselves

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

i had a wild friday night. i partied so hard*

*fell asleep watching Eraserhead

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

the mighty mighty deftones

[Mike Fallek @BigLilWeasel]

On Tuesday night I'll be on with Digital Slumber Party on @ComedyHubLive with @AnthonyKapfer and Amber at 9pm EST. Maybe even talking about the Poultrygeist video game with Troma.

I'm sure we'll be funny OH GOD WHAT IF WE ARENT!?!? im sure we will.

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

@MartinHuizing1 he used the phrase “stray bullets” he’s being a little cryptic with the threats but he’s mentioning his friends

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

i agreed to perform comedy for free on a show at a park in los angeles yesterday. the promoter thought it would be funny to throw his drink in my face. and here i thought as an artist and performer i had been disrespected in every way possible

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

@MartinHuizing1 yeah i have some video

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

@MartinHuizing1 actually he’s threatening me now

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

@Retailiated i’d rather keep him where i can see him

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

@DanScully next time

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

now this dude is mad at me for posting about it, even though i never named him, and he’s coming at me in my ig dms

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

context:
i did a standup set. after, i was part of a live comedy sketch. my character was supposed to have a heart attack & collapse. while i was on the ground, the promoter (who was not part of the sketch) joined & yelled “i’m a doctor” & proceeded to pour his drink on my face

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

taylor swift won the superbowl

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

there was just an earthquake in los angeles but i didn’t notice because i was recording a new song so i was already rocking really hard

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

it’s january 1st. time to change your guitar strings and clean your bongs

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

die hard is a movie

[Anthony Kapfer @AnthonyKapfer]

it’s friday night and i’m partying!*

*ordering deodorant on amazon