Orca

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[Sagar @Sagar_kr_Maity]

Imagine writing a PhD thesis so foundational that the title is literally just the name of the entire field of study.

​Paul Dirac, 1926: "Quantum Mechanics."

[Stunnar @ambrooky__]

Advantage ya kuhang around na feminist ni mtasplit bill

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

My grandfather said he’d never move into a retirement home.
He said, “Too expensive… and the food tastes like someone boiled sadness.”

Instead, he checked into a beachfront hotel.
We asked, “Grandpa, isn’t that even more expensive?”

He smiled and said, “Not really.
At the retirement home, I’d pay $200 a day for cold meatloaf and no visitors.
But here? For $150 a day, I get ocean views, room service, fresh towels, a pool…
…and suddenly all my grandkids remember I exist every weekend.”

Then he leaned back in his chair and delivered the final line like a mob boss:
“And if I die in the hotel lobby, the manager will actually look disappointed.
But at the nursing home? They just call it Tuesday.”

[Ⓜ️ayana @billiongjgly]

Someone said women trade like the British during colonialism

[PeePee🎀 @peegzy1]

I have tried LinkedIn. I have tried Indeed. I highly recommend having rich parents.

[Ali Moni, Esq. @AliMoniEsq]

Every attorney has a line they never expected to say out loud.

Mine was: "Your Honor, the OnlyFans account is actually a marital asset."

The husband wanted half.

The wife insisted it was "personal expression" and therefore off-limits.

She also insisted it barely made any money.

We requested the 1099s.

It was making more than my entire firm.

Opposing counsel looked at the income figures and visibly reconsidered his hourly rate.

We hired a valuation expert who, with an entirely straight face, explained subscriber churn, projected brand growth, and the economic value of her "top 0.3%" badge.

The judge asked if we could use a different term than "Thirst Empire" in the record.

We could not.

The husband wanted an ongoing cut of future revenue.

The wife said she'd rather delete the account.

Our expert confirmed that nuking it would destroy a 8-figure asset.

The courtroom went quiet while everyone processed that sentence.

We settled: she kept the account, bought him out with a lump-sum payment, and signed a clause promising never to use his likeness or name in any content.

As we left, he asked if he could at least get a free subscription.

No.

He has to pay.

[Michael Taiwo @AskMichaelTaiwo]

The first project I managed in Shell was a $750K that I got because no one in the room wanted it - it was too small for them.

We were upgrading the Firewater System in an old oil producing platform seating in 3,000 feet of ocean water.

By the time we were done, the project ran into over $1M and it was such a success that it put me on the radar.

If you are trying to break into a new role, sniff around for the job no one wants and take it.

Like a deadly striker all you need is a half-chance to score.

Take those half-chances.

[. @Fimiye]

Hate when your browser asks if you want to save a password that you entered wrong. Read the room.

[Kristen @Kica333]

My hobbies include:

1. Going home
2. Being at home
3. Wishing I was at home

[Shawtyy @Shawtywishi]

Men are so cheap. Unamwoshea vyombo ushamteka

[Rèed @Ian_San254]

Slow sex needs a tight pussy, You can't Walk Slowly in Afghanistan

[Sun Tzu @ItsChanzu]

I've noticed that majority of people holding senior roles did their undergrad or Masters abroad.

Am I reading too much into it or is this a shared observation?

I'm trynna understand why..

[Lynn Ngugi @lynn_ngugi1]

I don’t even blame Macron for telling “ill mannered Africans” to shut up😏
I blame any African that attended that event thinking France can help Africa move “Forward”
Ya’ll deserve to be treated like the idiots you are✌🏾

[Books Behind Borders @MHTruthUltra]

If a monkey hoarded more bananas than it could eat, while most of the other monkeys starved, scientists would study that monkey to figure out what was wrong with it.

When humans do it, we put them on the cover of Forbes.

[🍂 @Lovandfear]

“To be happy you must eliminate two things: The fear of a bad future and The memory of a bad past.”

- Seneca

[sine. @sneminaj]

If standing up for yourself burns a bridge, f*ck that bridge. Respectfully.

[Proton Pass @Proton_Pass]

Someone vibecoded the 2FA 😭

[Dr. Julie Gurner @drgurner]

No one wants to hear it but you will have to *work* on everything that is worth having in life.

Your career, your relationships, your health - whatever it is...

So if you don't want to work for it, be prepared to be very disappointed in the quality of everything you get.

[𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐲'𝐨𝐟'𝐆𝐨𝐝💦 @Champagnediet1]

Despite what you see on social media, there indeed ARE people too valuable to lose. You need to apologize.

[Ja Loka @_fels1]

Men hold each other accountable. If a man goes to Quiver, gets drunks, picks a hoe and takes her home, then later get drugged and robbed (sometimes the hoes overdose them and they end up dead), we call out the man. We ask them critical questions and warn others. We don't tell them, "nobody deserves to be drugged" or "that is not reason enough to drug someone". If you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. But there is no faster animal on the planet than a woman running away from accountability.