Fake Armond

If this were real I'd be a film critic. But this is fake, so I just drop bombs like it's 1945.

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

I could care less for Jim's taste, but more for his methods in fooling middle class children from their money. It's subscription time at NJ.

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

Tribeca has been fine so far. Excited for THE WOLFPACK, which I'm told is about Hoberman and his subterranean Cooper Union/NYU protégés.

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

.@TribecaFilmFest The press lounge is out of the Gold Magnum Ice Cream bars. Can you email me when they'll be refilled?

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

Did Hoberman convince all of NYFCC to turn against me because who else could control a group of people with group thought? DAMN RIGHT HE DID

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

Is film criticism truly a circle? No.

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

Is it a crime to love cinema? No.

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

Oh. And the pizza party is for NYFCC Members only. So don't try to crash OFCS, LAFCC, BFCA or any other haters.

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

You may wonder why Kyle Smith is on the invite. It's so we can double the invite as missing posters if he gets off his leash on the UES.

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

Attire is JNCO FRESH FYI

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

Invites are fresh from the Kinko's! See all of you at Monday's NYFCC Pizza Party honoring me. #TRUTHBOMB

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

In fact to show my thanks if you're in the Manhattan area you're invited to this Monday's NYFCC Pizza Party honoring me. Details soon!

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

I want to extend thanks to all of my defenders at hashtagteamalmond. I don't know how you all knew but I do love almonds.

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

To be fair, Lou can be a special feature anytime. It's Kyle Smith that is the unfortunate Ultraviolet forced add-on.

[Trapped by Television @LouLumenick]

I feel like a bonus feature on The Armond White Story.

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

@Terencenance child, I don't wrestle. If you want to do that with an eager participant I direct you to Rex Reed.

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

Kicker for #Hercules3D isn't coming at me. If I praise Adkins then the Hoberman Elite will chortle and dance like bispeckled babes.

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

Anyway this is what happens when we let kids in. Let's just say at this upcoming pizza party they'll be calling me Mr. 4xChair.

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

"Disciplinary Action" is just @FilmLinc short hand for a pizza party. A hold over from the P90X days with Robert Koehler #TRUTHBOMB

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

All day NYFCC email thread about ampizza party honoring me on 1/13 RUINED by that Ramin Bahrani who now must be a Variety reporter.

[Fake Armond @ArmondWhite]

You may now all go back to eagerly awaiting my review of THE LEGEND OF HERCULES. As you were.