AsdaExpress

Clean-up on aisle 5! ... This is a Parody Account. Bringing you amusement in a dreary world. Have a LOL and move on. ...Follow @TheLadBible for top notch banter

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@DarlingFarm We work at Asda, and wear green fleeces, we don't have one. Still, better than @Morrisons stupid apron uniforms we guess.

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@AsdaServiceTeam @chrysisandz Yes, have you spoken to our tea yet? I know our own-brand tea is shit, but it's a great conversation buddy

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@AsdaServiceTeam @DarlingFarm Bedding and chewed shopping in your bag of rat piss? Absolutely fucking disgusting. A waste of good rat piss

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@AsdaServiceTeam @carlamc24 Get in there Eastlands! You show 'em!

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@TyseyhK @AsdaServiceTeam We can't stop too long. Tesco keeps nicking the tyres off our vans.

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@AsdaServiceTeam @LennysCharms You made a cake ice cream, and after all the hard work we do, you didn't save any for us? Heartless swine!

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@k1ngsl4y3rr @asda Sorry. Dave's probably drunk and fell asleep on the loaves of bread again. We'll send someone to kick him.

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

Fun Things To Do In Asda #6 - Take the whole tray of free samples, walk around Asda nibbling them.

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@NicolaEvans_90 @AsdaServiceTeam They might! Congrats anyway. If you give him/her the middle name "Asda" she might get lifetime discounts xD

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

Fun Things To Do In Asda #5 - Put pairs of knickers in all the men's trouser pockets in George.

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@NicolaEvans_90 @AsdaServiceTeam I demand your local Asda to give you £200 worth of baby freebies for the aggro! ;)

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@NicolaEvans_90 @AsdaServiceTeam Tesco nicked our phones.

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

Fun Things To Do In Asda #4 - Shake all the fizzy drinks.

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@TheLadBible 'Sup LADsters? ;)

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@leannestorr Well of COURSE Sainsbury's are going to pay YOU to buy from them. Who wants to eat that shit?!?

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

Fun Things To Do In Asda #3 - Buy all the live lobsters and set them loose in the store.

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

Fun Things To Do In Asda #2 - Wedge things in all the freezer and refrigerator doors so they can't close.

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

Fun Things To Do In Asda #1 - Juggle the fruit.

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@MrsHMW Apologise?!? Who do you think we are?!? Sainsbury's?!?

[AsdaExpress @AsdaExpressUK]

@Rebecca_181290 You're*
And you having a laugh?!? You have any idea how much fuel costs right now?!? Pft.