ABR

still not a vampire / writer / comedian / lover / @NatGeoChannel @NPRAskMeAnother @meetcuteromcoms

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

No one in comedy can catch a chicken as quickly as I can

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

Hi BB pals, may I recommend Survivor: Australia vs the World if you’re looking for an excellent, strategy-based show to watch that manages to deliver on its premise and has a production team that includes twists without going against the very nature of the show #bb27

[Akilah Hughes @AkilahObviously]

Why are real celebrities in these “Royal Kingdom” game app commercials. What?

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

@AkilahObviously Exactly

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

Aren’t Vince and Ava tired of saying the same thing over and over #bb27

[Big Brother Daily @BB_Updates]

Rachel is the new HoH! #BB27

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

Not to toot my own horn, but I was diagnosed with ADHD in the 90s which was actually very hard to do as a girl back then and means I was probably unbearably insufferable and in that way I am a trailblazer

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

#BB27 Will always be remembered as the season Taran introduced “crashing out” to his feed update lexicon

[Michael Caine @themichaelcaine]

Do not want to see
hungry kids
Help them

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

thought long and hard about my summer scent and decided to go with Tommy Girl because I loved it in high school but I should've taken into account scent memory because now every time I wear it I want to skip class and smoke cigarettes in the woods

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

Wild how i loathe my alarm and yet it’s only doing the job I asked it to do. Created to be hated! What a life

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

Shoutout to Macy’s for not being afraid to make the ugliest dresses anyone’s ever seen

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

Having one of those nights where I miss being young and dumb!! (aka wish I could have a crispy sprite without fear of kidney damage)

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

Got my one and only into Star Trek: TNG and it’s been completely life-affirming. Strongly recommend mentioning it for 10+ years every time they say, “well, what do you want to watch?” until they finally cave and commit to season one

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

crazy how a little flu can really humble you

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

Wish we could mic inside heads of met gala peeps like what are they thinking about?? The relentless march of time? Paying rent? Relationship with family? I don’t care what you’re wearing, I want to know what your spiraling over

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

Channeling prediction from other side: end of podcasts coming soon sorry

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

Hey haven’t seen you in a while what’s up

[ABR @AshleyBRoberts]

Honestly so rude that Elon made Twitter a trash pile and then it just stayed that way. I keep waiting for a bounce back