Jonasi for President!
Netflix's The Polygamist has done what years of relationship seminars, church counselling and motivational speakers could not โ uniting Namibian women in collective outrage.
From Windhoek to Swakopmund, ladies have been glued to their screens, reliving old wounds and sending lengthy voice notes to their friends beginning with the words: "You know, this reminds me of that bastard Tangeniโฆ"
Or every second artisan who ever worked at Husab. They sleep around and go waffle about it during lunch break. Nasty, nasty people!
The series follows Jonasi Gomora, a man so committed to living multiple lives that he deserves either a prison sentence or a Cabinet portfolio.
Depending on who you ask.
If the show has taught us anything, it is that one determined African man can successfully run four households, six lies, three side relationships, two funerals, a thriving business and a full social calendar without ever opening Google Calendar. The ancestors would be proud.
For years, women have claimed that men cannot multitask. Jonasi has destroyed that myth in one go.
The man is simultaneously a husband, boyfriend, father, provider, liar, counsellor, event planner, logistics manager and part-time intelligence operative.
The average Namibian man struggles to remember his anniversary with the main girlfriend. Jonasi remembers four.
The average Namibian man accidentally sends a heart emoji to the wrong woman once and causes a constitutional crisis. Jonasi maintains an entire network of romantic operations across multiple geographical locations with the precision of Air Namibia in its glory days.
Forget romance. Jonasi's greatest achievement is logistics. The man should be lecturing Logistics and Supply Chain Management at NUST.
Local women watched the series and immediately saw Amos โ the guy who shattered their hearts with a never-ending catalogue of โcheatationsโ. The same Amos who sends a sweet โgood night, my queenโ text at 17h00, only for his WhatsApp status to remain stubbornly โonlineโ until midnight. The same Amos whose phone battery is somehow always dead when you call, but fully charged when he's liking photos and replying to mysterious contacts named โCousinโ.
The one who attends weddings with a different plus-one every year and still acts offended when people ask questions.
Meanwhile, men's contacts lists have suddenly become matters of national security.
Why is Selma saved as "Mechanic"? Why is Maria listed as "Pastor"? And who exactly is "Cousin Johannes", who keeps sending heart emojis at midnight?
Questions must be asked.
The show has also exposed a glaring economic inconsistency. In a country where petrol costs an arm and a leg, data vanishes faster than government promises, and a loaf of bread now requires financial planning, how exactly is Jonasi funding four families?
Even corruption has a budget. At some point the man must have submitted a funding proposal to Treasury.
Social media, naturally, has been ruthless. Viewers describe Jonasi as toxic, manipulative and shameless. In other words, a man perfectly qualified to thrive in modern politics.
Which brings us to a bold proposal. Forget the next election. Jonasi for president!
If a man can coordinate four households without a spreadsheet, imagine what he could do with a national budget.
Of course, every empire eventually falls. And that is the real lesson of The Polygamist.
Secrets are like potholes on Independence Avenue. You can dodge them for years. Eventually, something breaks.
Netflix calls it entertainment. Across Namibia, from Noordoewer to Ruacana, women are treating it as documentary evidence.
LAUNCHED: FNB Namibia has launched We Save, a group savings product that allows up to 90 members to save collectively, with a minimum opening balance of N$100 and a requirement for three signatories.
The stokvel-style offering is aimed at group savings for purposes such as family and travel plans. It carries no monthly fees, supports payouts to both FNB and non-FNB clients, and requires approval from at least three signatories for transactions, according to FNB Head of Investment, Ziggy Muinjo.
#namibia #finance #savings #fnb @FNBNamibia
If I Had R50,000, Hereโs How I would Invest It to Turn It Into R30 Million
If I had R50,000 today, I wouldnโt save it. I would build a high-growth portfolio designed for long-term compounding, aiming for an average return of around 25โ30% per year. The goal wouldnโt be overnight success or quick profits, but rather consistent, exponential growth that builds real wealth over time through discipline and patience.
Start With Strong Local Foundations (20%)
I would begin with R10,000 in Namibiaโs top-performing unit trust funds, for example, the @OldMutualNam Growth Fund, which has delivered around 22.8% over the past year and allows small starting amounts (as little as N$300). This provides exposure to Namibiaโs growing economy and regional markets while benefiting from professional fund management. Local investments like this add stability and balance to a portfolio built for growth.
Add Global Exposure (45%)
Next, I would allocate R22,500 into high-growth global ETFs available on @EasyEquities. These would include the Satrix Nasdaq 100 ETF, which gives exposure to tech giants like Apple, Nvidia, Microsoft, and Amazon; the Satrix MSCI World ETF, which covers top global markets across North America, Europe, and Asia; and the Sygnia 4th Industrial Revolution ETF, which focuses on companies shaping the future through AI, robotics, and digital transformation. These ETFs have delivered annualized returns between 20% and 30% in strong years, and over the long term, this is where the true compounding power lies.
Include Inflation Protection and Alternative Assets (15%)
I would also allocate around R7,500 toward inflation-protected and alternative assets. This could include a gold-backed ETF such as ETFGLD and a small percentage in cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin or Ethereum. These assets serve as hedges during market uncertainty and provide diversification. They can also deliver strong returns over time when included in small, strategic proportions.
Keep 10% in a money market fund.
The remaining R5,000 would go into a money market fund. Earning around 10-20% annually, this allocation provides liquidity and flexibility to take advantage of future opportunities or to buy more during market dips. It also serves as a small safety buffer in case of emergencies or unexpected expenses.
Once the initial portfolio is built, I would commit to contributing an additional R1,000โR2,000 every month, increasing that amount by 10% each year as income grows. With consistent investing and an average annual return of 25โ30%, this portfolio could potentially grow from N$50,000 to N$25โ30 million in 25 years. Thatโs the power of compounding, small, disciplined actions that multiply over time into extraordinary results.
Of course, a 30% annual return is ambitious and comes with higher risk. Itโs only realistic with a portfolio tilted toward high-growth assets such as tech-heavy ETFs and emerging market exposure. It means being comfortable with market swings and staying focused on the long-term picture. The key is to remain invested through ups and downs, reinvest all dividends, and avoid the temptation to withdraw early.
Not financial advice; sharing my research so you donโt have to.
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