AttentionStaff

voice of god (and Michael Cera)

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Attention Hospital Staff, I suspect that this twitter account is a marketing ploy. Fucking Hollywood... That is all.

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Attention Hospital Staff, The tests came back positive, the lady IS a tramp. That is all.

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Attention Hospital Staff, Can we please save all the baby mama drama for the maternity ward? That is all.

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Attention Hospital Staff, We need less pacemakers and more peacemakers. I’m looking at you Middle East. That is all.

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Attention Staff, you know what they call the hole in a barrel of wine? The bunghole. Haaaahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaahaa. That is all.

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Attention Staff, if Nigel from SoYouThinkYouCanDance wre here, he'd probably say something like "you're going through to the next round!"

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Attention Staff, if a tree falls in the woods but no one is there to hear it, was it my fault that my parents got divorced? That is all.

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Attention Staff, I don't mean to be frank... Seriously, Frank's a dick and has this weird sense of entitlement. Glad Im not him. That is all

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Attention Hospital Staff, A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me. It’s also a common hospital garment. That is all.

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Attention Staff, These pants don't even have pockets. It is truly just really nice to see you. That is all.

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Attention Hospital Staff, Dr. Spratt confused "Labia" with "Libya" again. The 4 o’clock meeting is now canceled. That is all.

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Attention Staff, tonight is your night. Go out and get her back. That is all.

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Attention Hospital Staff, Do these pants make me look fat? That is all. #childrenshospital

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Attention staff, I write these when I'm high. That is all.