Amir

The man who brought you successes like Zune, HD-DVD, and Windows Media Audio. Founder of Audio Science Review. World’s #1 MQA fanboy. Satire.

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

I am not like other reviewers! I can go into business with a company and will not be corrupted. I am like a minister. Like a billionaire in Africa. Like a…. pharmaceutical company? What I mean is: My ethics are above reproach. Above. Reproach.

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

“I don’t monetize ASR in any form or fashion [except for these forms and fashions].”

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

Scientific debate is when threads are only open for me to attack people but not for them to respond. And how dare my supplicants claim that Erin’s free reviews provide “massive value” for his readers and viewers?! Anyhooooo… Better delete this thread.

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

Hate clickbait titles [when they’re for a video of a more honest and knowledgeable reviewer than me]. It seems every second there is another [more honest reviewer]. This whole monetization business [is why I ask for donations even though I’m a wealthy retired Microsoft exec].

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

Proud to run a site that welcomes dissent and is not at all a cult of personality where my views must not be challenged.

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

Our commitment to science at ASR requires us to lock all threads about the lossy scam that is the now-bankrupt MQA. After all, too much discussion about how I supported MQA is bad for science.

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

I love blind testing… except when it demonstrates something I don’t want to believe. https://t.co/bWylw81wk3

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

Audio Precision needed me, the guy who ran Microsoft’s audio business into the ground, to explain to them how to run a test Audio Precision invented using Audio Precision equipment.

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

“This is engineering at its ultimate best.”

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

How dare you question ̶m̶y̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶p̶a̶n̶y̶’s Topping’s reliability or compare Topping to companies with real warranties whose products don’t die after a few weeks!

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

Keep buying from my favorite company. It doesn’t matter that their “superbly engineered” products keep dying. When it breaks, you can just throw it in a landfill and buy another one!

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

More evidence of the “great engineering” that I touted!

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

Oops! It was “my absolute pleasure to recommend” yet another Topping product with huge failure rates and at least 39 of my loyal readers flushed $350 down the toilet. Oh well, as long as they keep donating to me… 🤭

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

I’m very critical of improper blind testing… unless it’s when someone uses faulty blind tests to prove ̶m̶y̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶p̶a̶n̶y̶ Topping is the best!

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

When MQA lies to sell an inferior product? That’s no problem. When MFSL lies to sell a superior product? Unforgivable. Subjectivism for me. Objectivism for thee.

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

You know I’m a good reviewer, because I don’t even Google the companies before I publish my reviews, which means sometimes I commit libel against a company out of laziness, then hastily revise my review to erase the libel. Whoops!

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

More satisfied customers of the company and product I could not recommend more highly!

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

Oops! It was “my absolute pleasure to recommend” yet another Topping product with huge failure rates and at least 39 of my loyal readers flushed $350 down the toilet. Oh well, as long as they keep donating to me… 🤭

[Amir @AudioScienceRev]

The rubes are catching on to my scam! Drats!