Augustine Strange

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

Dallas man arrested at a local strip club, attempting to pay for VIP lap dances with bag full of dimes https://t.co/TFSpfPivaz

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

https://t.co/UY9UBFDXwL

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

https://t.co/uBq3rbRFL7

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

@augus12rt pm me with an offer and I will think about it.

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

I'm going to start an act called "Boy Orbison". It's where I dress up like Boy George and sing Roy Orbison songs.

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

The world's first earpiece translator is coming, and I'm on the waitlist! Check it out! @waverlylabsinc https://t.co/3ZEmxPwyuJ #hearables

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

Stay classy Nebraka.... https://t.co/KnNjUCGJq8 via @imgur

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

Did you hear about the dyslexic Doctor who had a dog complex.

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

One of my favorite things to do is take a bag of bread crumbs to the lake and force my ideology on the ducks

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

Always count your ducks before they hatch.

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

At the office. ..

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

When I post pics of myself on dating sites, I have a 2021 calendar in the background to make women think I'm from the future.

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

Fact: Chickens don't have lips.

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

Of all the times I've been on a "cat walk", not once have I ever ran into a cat

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

My local weather is predicting possible 18" of snow and possible 30' drifts.This is unacceptable and un-american. Thanks Obama.

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

If only I had applied myself harder, I could of been a Ninja.

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

I always take the socio path less traveled.

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

I remember as a child going to the zoo and seeing the flamingos. I bet they're all dead now.

[Augustine Strange @Augustine]

The fig's pigment is a figment of the pig's imagination.