Jason Johnson

Bartender. Writer. Amature alcoholic. Professional Smart ass.

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

@Starfeyy Hi

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

@itsalicejackson Very attractive 😍

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

@itsalicejackson Yes

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

@EnemY297kd0m @blair_ster Okay. Don’t have to tell me twice 😉😈🤤

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

@AutumJeanine247 I do. Thank you 😉

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

#NFL
@Flash_Garrett congrats on the sack record! Absolutely incredible!

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

#SNFonNBC
Mike Tirico: says anything
Chris Collinsworth: says the exact same thing for 30 seconds while vigorously masturbating & gushing all over whatever player was involved

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

Let’s go Pens!! #LetsGoPens

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

Tom Brady throws a football at 42+: Wins a Super Bowl
I throw (and catch) a football at 42: Rolls ankle, strains & possibly tears calf
This is unfair.

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

@marieannechan76 Is that supposed to be a deterrent?? Sounds like a fun time.

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

@prettyalyssaxo Hi!

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

#USMNTvMEX
It’s the Gold Cup Final in Houston
Only one half to go, son

We need some possession
Don’t let them teach a lesson

It can’t be Dos a Cero
But I don’t fucking care-o

Let’s go score a goal, son
Let’s go win this damn one!

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

About War Damn Time! Way to step it up Auburn! @AuburnMBB Let’s get that Elite 8 birth!

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

@rubyyreidxo Hi

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

It’s been like a decade since @LuisSuarez9 bit someone. That’s why I’m watching the #CopaAmerica 3rd place game. 😳😳😳🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

@RyanQualtrics Hear me out… The Stormin’ Mormons

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

@MarieTemara Hi

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

Ryan Clark looks like he’s practicing for the Olympic fencing team with that pointer 😂

[Jason Johnson @AUSarge]

@USMNT Great second half! #DosACero