Average Jane

Mum of 2 young boys. Parenting tips I wish I knew before I did them all. A true believer that sarcasm is the highest form of wit

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #124 Everyday you'll experience something new. This is you being mooned by your son #wonderhowlonghewaitedthere

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #123 be less pathetic about spiders. Otherwise you'll spend an evening teaching your once spider loving 6 year old how to stand on steps screaming at a coat on the floor #bloodyhusbandawayagain

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #122 there will be few things harder in life to achieve than trying to direct a 3 year old to find an object 'left of the green ball, between the table and the vase...no the vase, the long purple thing...no, left, the other side than you're looking, THE OTHER SIDE!!'

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #121 the things that make you proud will change.
'I'm really good at making man's with long heads' that's my boy

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #120 the 'this is the adult room, this is the playroom' plan will not be successful #finallylearntwedonthavearoom

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #119 eating the leftovers from your child's friend's plate will be a new low. There is no coming back from this #shameohshame

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #118 these children will definitely be asleep soon

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #117 The little one will spend too much time around dogs

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #116 get comfortable talking about your private parts and what they do, in public. Because that happens alot #whereisyourwilly

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

@deanstokes @Mr_BRouse @AppsEvents1 I don't know your wife but she sounds amazing. I bet she's very attractive too

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #115 apparently there is no limit to how many dinosaurs they can make at pre school #whencanithrowthemaway

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #114 there will never be less than 4 bowls of half eaten cereal on the worktop #buysharesincereal

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #113 boys will be boys #weeingstatue #whatdotheyexpect

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Thought you might appreciate this photo of our weekend away in London @TheUnmumsyMum. We thought we might be ready to mix with the general public but it has become clear we are not. I like looking at how rested and at peace the people in the background are

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #112 don't get all cocky and think you're ready for normal civilization or anything....

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #111 don't be alarmed this is just how they watch TV. Something to do with invisible forces #theirhearinggoestoo

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #110 there is no such thing as out of sight out of mind. In fact it's quite the opposite. You'll need to burn it and even then... #theyneedproof

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

Tip #109 Sleeves. And. Snot #crustyarms

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

@TheUnmumsyMum This made me cry! And I'm not even hormonal. But it takes me back to the early days when everything felt so helpless and you're in tears the whole time, then you find someone who understands and you cry some more. #teamwilf

[Average Jane @AverageJane8]

@lexymarts Eek! Xx