melissa

professional dilly dallyer. she/her

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

if ur looking for a pudgy girl with a kind heart and a lot of love to give, look no further, you’ve found me and I am reaDY TO FUCKIN RUMBLE

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

just made my uber driver admire the moon

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

dachshunds are just short horses

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

standoff between me and my cat (she wants an early dinner and I want to do my job)

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

got my period today which makes sense considering I was full blown crying over the idea of getting to meet Toothless at the Isle of Berk themed section of Universal’s new park last night

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

@berryallergy Jumbo ☹️☹️☹️

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

Caroline didn’t want me to “live in ignorance” so she told me my favorite dog on campus died

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

@warlocktrash @historyinmemes gotta check EVERY quarter, just in case

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

first tweet since X but I LOVE MY FRIENDS

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

Do I want to keep it? Yes. Do I have the space for CDs at my new place? Definitely not.

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

would anyone want to go through my grandma’s CD collection before I donate it (hits ranging from Van Morrison to Spring Awakening to Lady Gaga)

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

NEW JOB NEW JOB NEW JOB!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!!

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

shoutout to our uber driver Donnie Disco for putting on the ABBA radio

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

I would actually explode without my friends

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

coming to work in the office just reminds me that I’m absolutely awful at socializing

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

how am I supposed to be financially responsible when there’s a BEAUTIFUL Monstera plant on sale for $60???

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

guys today I not only attended but also talked during my jobs weekly chit chat meeting and I feel like a champion of social interactions

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

i…. love my friends so much

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

didn’t realize the hold that Olivia Newton John and John Travolta still had on me until I started immediately crying when John Travolta walked on stage for the In Memoriam

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

I genuinely can not stop eating brussel sprouts. I have an undying love for them at this point in my life

[melissa @AwksMelissa]

name a more iconic duo (got about 50 versions of this pic of us in my phone now)