I don’t think pragmatism is better. I think we just lie about what it costs. You can marry the person who makes sense. The one treats you well, fits into your life without wrecking it. That’s most of what a good life needs. But pretending you stop thinking about the other person Is where we mess up.
Some people crack you open in a way that doesn’t close. They saw a version of you no one else has seen since. And you can build a whole good life with someone else, love them genuinely, and still have this other person living rent-free in a corner of your mind you didn’t even know existed.
That’s what breaks people. We’ve been told that real love means total erasure. That if you truly love your partner, you shouldn’t think about anyone else… Lol. That if someone from your past still lives in your head, your current thing must be fake.
But what if it’s not either/or? What if you can love who you’re with and still carry someone else? Not because your partner isn’t enough. Because humans don’t have one slot for person who mattered. We’re not computers. We don’t delete and replace. She kept thinking about him not because her marriage was a lie. Some connections just don’t follow rules.
They don’t care if you moved on, chose stability, got practical. They exist like scar tissue. Not painful, just there. Proof of when you were different, wanted different things, hadn’t learned yet that wanting and having are separate things entirely.
@NaijaFlyingDr Most of the rest would be put into a “Charity” trust they would control.
It’s pretty smart since they won’t pay tax on it and get to virtue signal.
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🎉Yes Summer Week 5 is here! 🎉
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Just finished this book - Bad Therapy by @AbigailShrier
This is one of the most eye-opening books I've ever read. It's a must read for any parent, any teacher, and should be required reading for any school administrator as well.
The book dives into trying to figure out why kids are having so many mental health problems, when there are so many resources devoted to improving mental health outcomes.
Anxiety, depression, suicide, etc are all higher than they've ever been with kids, even though their lives are arguably better than ever before. It just doesn't make sense.
A few key takeaways from the book:
A constant attention on how kids are "feeling" or "thinking" is causing negative outcomes.
Constantly ruminating on your emotions and how you feel negatively impacts your mental health. If all you do is focus on your emotions, you are destined to be anxious or depressed.
We incessantly ask kids how they're feeling, if they're happy, how their mental health is, etc, and this is creating kids who think they're fragile instead of resilient.
Trying to solve every problem for kids has caused a generation who can't do anything for themselves.
We (Gen X) were told to "suck it up" or "you'll live" or "rub some dirt on it" all the time. Many of us came to the conclusion this is "bad parenting" because our feelings were neglected, and we vowed not to do this to our own children.
Because of that, kids immediately over-dramatize everything that happens to them, making mountains out of molehills, and thinking the world must revolve around their emotions and feelings.
You develop confidence and strong mental health by doing things, not by thinking or via therapy.
You can't think your way out of anxiety. You don't gain confidence by analysis of your thoughts or mental health issues.
You gain confidence and eliminate anxiety by doing gradually more difficult tasks, excelling at them, and realizing you are a competent, capable person.
The non-stop attention therapy gives to these small, common emotions we all feel blows them out of proportion to their seriousness (not talking about genuine disorders here, just normal anxieties that millions of people go to therapy to try to avoid).
One of the best ways to decrease your happiness is to chase it.
Our society constantly tells kids they should be "happy" and asks them if they are.
Happiness isn't a state you should be in 24/7. That's not realistic. Joy and bliss aren't permanent states - they are fleeting.
Contentment, stillness, and being even-keeled are much better goals to aim for mentally.
The happiest, most well adjusted kids come from families with loving parents that have strict rules for the household.
This one really set off the confirmation bias in me... I feel really blessed we have 2 well adjusted middle school kids who do great in school, are very respectful and well mannered, and we barely even need to parent them.
But for years, we were very strict with them. Bedtimes, family rules, how we do things, etc. The in-laws and lots of friends thought we were totalitarian.
In reality, we just had high standards. And it's really paying off right now. I found it really interesting that strict rules equals happy kids. Makes sense, though, as kids need to know what their boundaries are.
Constantly surveying school-age kids about their mental health causes more issues than it solves.
Mental health resources is big money. Districts need to validate all the resources allocated towards mental health, and they often do that via surveys.
Asking kids non-stop questions like:
- Have you thought about self harm?
- Have you thought about suicide?
- Have you been so anxious you can't get out of bed?
Etc, etc puts into their heads the idea that themselves, or many of their peers are broken and cannot function properly in the real world.
It normalizes situations that would be incredibly rare at any other time in history.
There's a lot of other takeaways, too, but I'll stop there.
It's a fantastic book. Go pick it up and read it. This isn't an affiliate thing or a promotion thing at all. I just really enjoyed it, and it will further shape the way I parent moving forward.
I withdrew less that $10,000 from the Commonwealth Bank today.
I was asked what I need it for?
I said to the teller, " aren't you supposed to ask this only if I withdraw $10,000+?"
She said, "Oh no now it's anything over $1,000 & even if you want to deposit $1,000, we ask you where you got the money from.
So I said to her, as she was being polite this time, that I withdrew the money to pay cash for all my purchases as the banks are closing down & closing ATM's. I also said that I no longer trust the bank with my money & that I think it's intrusive that the govt. wants to know this information.
She said that it is to prevent money laundering to which I replied that the govt. is the biggest money launderer there is.
She just laughed & gave me my money.
The Deputy Governor of Adamawa state will be unavailable for the space tonight due to an urgent engagement. However, Hon. Chief Kate Raymond Mamuno has graciously accepted to come on the space!
Please remember to tune in at 7pm today.
#InspireInclusion
https://t.co/LvGTRLsN91
The wait is over.
My documentary, 'Cancer: A Food-Borne Illness,' will be premiering exclusively on @X, March 27th.
Parents, watch my documentary if you want to learn how to stop giving your kids cancer.
I started this as a 17-year-old trying to understand what causes this brutal disease,
Now I am up against the largest companies in the food and pharmaceutical industry, trying to save my generation from the same chronic diseases that plagued our parents and loved ones.
I'm grateful for my school @AlphaSchoolATX, which gave me the pathway to get here, and for X, which gave me the platform to speak about my research and find an incredible community.
Stay tuned for updates on the documentary! In the meantime, here's the trailer :)
#cancerfreegenz
Dear anyone who wants to be a "creator" or "build an audience" in 2024. There's something you should know...
Here are a few of the non-obvious lessons I've learned building a 500k+ followers & 100M+ downloads:
#1 - WHO follows you is far more important than HOW MANY people follow you.
YC tells founders "you'd rather have 1,000 customers who really love your product than 1,000,000 people who just kinda like it"
I have similar advice for making content. WHO follows you is way more important than HOW MANY people follow.
Followers & subscribers are the fake t*tties of content. They're a distraction. Ignore them.
Would you rather have 1,000,000 people, chosen at random follow you? Or half of Fortune 500 ceo's love your work?
You're not 'buliding an audience', you're actually building a 'magnet' which attracts a certain type of audience.
Create the content that will attract the type of fan you want.
#2 - You want to be "known well", not "well known"
Fame is the wrong goal. You want a narrow set of people to know a lot about you.
Become famous within your bubble.
How do you become "known well"? You have to share stories, hopes, dreams, fears, & obsessions.
Teach your audience the 5 D's:
*Done - what have you done? what's your track record?
*Deliver - what do you offer people who follow you?
*Do - what do you do for work? for fun?
*Dreams - what do you want outta life? (eg. Gary V wants to buy the Jets)
*Dork Out - what are you really into? what do you collect?
If you do this, you'll magically notice that the more content you create, the luckier you get.
Your fans will know what articles to send you. What deals to invite you into. What concert tickets to give you. What introductions to make.
#3 - OK that was a long answer- which reminds me. There's no such thing as too long, only 'too boring'.
#4 - Don't worry about your writing style or production quality.
A+ content with C- delivery is a great starting point.
C- content with A+ delivery is a death trap.
Don't waste hours on packaging. Spend years living an interesting life, so that you actually have something interesting to say.
#5 - Create a binge bank
Your content should be bingeable in a 1-3 hour sitting.
Let people stumble down the rabbit hole of YOU.
A lot of content will get no attention, until you finally break thru...and then your back catalog of content becomes super important.
#6- The rule of 100
People ask @MrBeast for youtube advice. He tells them all the same thing:
- everyone sucks at the beginning
- make 100 videos
- each time, try to make one thing better (eg. the hook, the thumbnail, etc.)
By video 100, you won't need his advice. You'll be winning.
Put in 100 focused reps before expecting results.
#7 - Pick the platform that suits you
Every platform works. Long form. shortform. text. video. podcasts.
Don't tangle your brain trying to pick the "best" platform. They all work. Pick the one you enjoy doing. If you like writing, write. If you like short videos, do that.
#8 - No matter what platform you pick, don't stop writing
Writing is thinking. Good writing is good thinking.
Writing is like a doctor's checkup for your brain.
#9 - People don't want information, they want a feeling.
Think of your channel as a little shop at the world's most crowded market.
People don't follow you because of what you know. They follow you because of how you make them feel. Give them the feeling once or twice, you get a follow. Give them the feeling daily, you get a diehard fan.
MrBeast makes people feel happy. James Clear sells the feeling of control over habits. Tony Robbins sells inspiration. Soul Cycle sells a satisfying sweat.
Figure out what emotion you're selling, and then do it consistently.
and lastly (and most importantly): the golden rule of life is "treat others the way you want to be treated"
well, the golden rule of content "retweet @shaanvp the way you want to be retweeted!"
SCOOP: Harvard president Claudine Gay was hit with six additional allegations of plagiarism tonight in a complaint filed with the university, pushing the total number of allegations near 50.
These are some of the most extreme and clear-cut examples yet.🧵https://t.co/Bg69AeZcMU
Your car does the math for you.
When calculating a route & battery % on arrival, Tesla navigation takes into account:
- Wind speed & direction
- Elevation/grade
- Traffic speed
- Avg acceleration/deceleration
- Ambient temperature
- Humidity & pressure
- Solar load & cloud cover
- Initial battery %
- Initial battery temperature
- Gross combined vehicle weight
- Rolling resistance
- (Hello to everyone who's still reading through this list)
- Aerodynamic drag coefficient
- HVAC consumption
- Vehicle-specific energy consumption (bike rack or similar)
- Battery preconditioning
& more. No driver input required!