Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27

My name is Axius, and today, I will be tweeting about [INSERT DEPRESSING TOPIC HERE].

Follow me if you need reassurance that I'm not dead :P

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

Well, I've always wanted to leave Twitter. Guess I finally have an excuse.

I am now on @TheHIVE_Social. Feel free to follow me there.

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

I want my life back. I want to be able to sit down and force myself to write again. Even my limited ability back in school was preferable to this... this haziness.

I'm tired of being too tired to act. This is long overdue, and I don't want to waste any more of my time.

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

Once I'm done confirming the lack of holes in my stomach, I'll be able to focus more on the other symptoms as well. Mainly, photosensitivity, noise sensitivity, and brain fog, alongside the existing treatments for my depression and ADHD.

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

Unfortunately, the medication is question isn't particularly healthy to take long-term, so I have to do a bunch of tests to make sure that I'm not killing my liver or developing stomach ulcers. It's still early days we'll see how bad it gets soon.

Still. Major breakthrough!

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

Ideally, there is one particular symptom from my depression that I want to eliminate: Psychomotor Impairment.

It's that symptom that's been the major sticking point for my depression. It's why I'm always tired, and why I cannot work up the motivation to do anything at all.

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

(I told them that my doctor was just trying everything, to be safe. They are definitely going to have questions when I go back for more :P )

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

To be completely fair to my previous doctors, it's a VERY rare condition, and I'm not the typical patient that fits the profile (I'm the wrong gender, for one). When I went to get the medication from the pharmacist, they actually stopped working to discuss it, it was that unusual

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

To be clear, I'm not cured. The pain is still there, but it's no longer increasing. No flare-ups, just a background hum.

Apparently it was that easy to treat for all this time. I could have tried this back in 2013. My GP's now has... 'opinions' about my previous doctors :P

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

Unfortunately, the medication is question isn't particularly healthy to take long-term, so I have to do a bunch of tests to make sure that I'm not killing my liver or developing stomach ulcers. It's still early days we'll see how bad it gets soon.

Still. Major breakthrough!

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

While I'm here, I finally have an update. My new GP was looking at my headache history, and just to be safe, started me on some medication that effectively treats a extremely rare migraine condition that almost nobody gets.

I got results within four days.

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

In all seriousness, I think the Dr. got it wrong. But I'm also painfully aware how frustrating my health is to categorise. I won the Unlucky Lottery, and my prize is suffering!

Still, I have leads. Recommendations. New specialists to visit and savings to burn. It's not over yet.

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

To be clear, I'm not cured. The pain is still there, but it's no longer increasing. No flare-ups, just a background hum.

Apparently it was that easy to treat for all this time. I could have tried this back in 2013. My GP's now has... 'opinions' about my previous doctors :P

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

Genuinely, if FromSoftware made a dedicated 'magic' game — like how Bloodborne is dedicated towards dodge-rolling and Sekiro is dedicated towards parrying — I would buy that in a heartbeat :P

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

I've finally done it.

A decade after I bought the game, I'm finally playing Dark Souls 3.

...naturally, I've spent the first several hours of the game getting beaten up by everyone and everything because I refuse to level up anything that doesn't directly help my mage build :/

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

I don't suppose anyone has any advice on where I can find a decent sword to pair with my spells? I really liked the Nox Curved Sword in Elden Ring (the one that doubles as a whip), so directions to anything like that would be greatly appreciated :P

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

I anyone from the #DarkSouls fandom wants to chime in and explain why I'm an idiot, feel free to. I do genuinely want to know how this works.

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

Is the wiki wrong? Am I miscounting? Is it 45 as a group, or 45 for each portal?

...I guess I'll find out the limit when I run into it :/

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

In the meantime, YAY, MORE SOULS! Thanks, Eleum Loyce!

Dark Souls 2 really is a different kind of game to the other entries in the series. The despawn mechanics have fundamentally changed how I approach enemies. I don't 'need' to master each one, I just have to endure them.

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

Alright, so... I'm confused. According to the wiki, the Charred Loyce Knights are supposed to have a respawn cap of 45. That's it, no more.

But... By my own maths, I've killed at *least* 70 of them in total today, post-boss fight.

....what?

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

So, I've resumed my playthrough of Dark Souls 2 after a long break, and immediately, I have managed to screw myself over -_-

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

Is the wiki wrong? Am I miscounting? Is it 45 as a group, or 45 for each portal?

...I guess I'll find out the limit when I run into it :/

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

How the hell am I having an easier time fighting a mob of Loyce Knights than just one guy with a hammer -_-

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

So, I've resumed my playthrough of Dark Souls 2 after a long break, and immediately, I have managed to screw myself over -_-

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

...so, first DLC boss dead, I suppose. Two to go.

Look, what was I supposed to do, NOT try my best in a hopeless situation? Now my allies are gone, the enemies are limited, and I'm probably going to have to use some Asecetic to fix it, making everything all the harder.

Whoops.

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

(I did want it to be over in December, but whatever. Perhaps the medical science in Australia just isn't there yet. All I can do is keep trying until I run out of money and patience again, or wait until there's another major advancement in brain injury treatments. Or both)

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

As per the usual pattern of my mental health crises, a long, deep sleep has restored my happiness level back to my normal 2/10.

So, I'm fine. Could always be better, but I'm not rock bottom anymore. I endure, and that burden doesn't feel as heavy as it did yesterday.

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

Nothing like a trip to the Neurologist to remind me of exactly why I started hating doctor and refused to seek treatment for the last decade...

My god, I hate my goddamn health...

[Axius "Doesn't know when his mic is muted" 27 @Axius27]

In all seriousness, I think the Dr. got it wrong. But I'm also painfully aware how frustrating my health is to categorise. I won the Unlucky Lottery, and my prize is suffering!

Still, I have leads. Recommendations. New specialists to visit and savings to burn. It's not over yet.