Cyrenie

And she writes till her hands ache.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

What did I even expect? That people would understand me when I can't even understand myself? Get a grip Chloe. How can you be so complicated and stupid? You're not even smart, you just act like it but you really aren't. I hate you. So much.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

I'm the worst type of person out there. Attachment issues fill my whole being as if it could strangle me alive. I'm choking with nothing in my mouth but the feeling of constantly holding on to someone who doesn't give the same effort as me.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

Two travelers set sail to find the other, one confident and the other was scared. The moment they saw each other the one who was confident immediately lost its shine. The friend he once knew, was alive but gone at the time. Fear consuming her slowly until she was unrecognizable.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

Would you think about me if I was gone? Or will you stay in the safety of your throne? I get ordered around by you despite being in the same wavelength as you. So tell me, when will you stop pretending and actually move the pointer where I'm not the one in pain?

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

The constant silent pleas for attention became annoying for the little girl. A girl who once yearned for understanding now chose to sit silent where nobody can reach out to her soul. Nobody to worry, nobody to bother. She finally understood the consequences she'll face.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

I'm tired. Tired of constantly giving away my own light just to see them happy. Tired of begging constantly just for you to hear me. Tired of being the one who gives apologies even when I'm juiced dry. I'm tired. I genuinely am. So pls, just this once, can't you adjust for me?..

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

The need to please others is unreal. The florist takes care of her plants but the plants can't take care of her. The florist focus on the beauty of her beloved flowers, losing hers in the process. The beauty she was supposed to radiate in was given to other people.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

Her mind is unlike the rest, a train spins around as it is filled with coal. Coal that grinds against the wall of the vehicle and sparking with fire. The fire grows the further the train goes. Up until it finally explodes before reaching its destination.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

She will never find joy in talents that she doesn't enjoy. A text she types with a font she doesn't want. A drink she drinks out of need but not out of want. That's the cruel reality of her life, what she wants isn't important. What her loved ones need is what fuels her.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

The smallest amount of detail that the painter should've appreciated but instead was painted white all over again. It's saddening to see how much insecurities can affect a person and their minds.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

Is it normal to look into the mirror and see nothing but imperfections. When somebody else can see the good things about you, all you can see are the bad things. Funny on how a human mind can think, see, notice and point out every flaw they have.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

She's that daughter, the daughter that doesn't speak. Obeys without question and absorbs all the negativity other people inflict onto her. I pity her, that girl has no mouth of her own.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

Cry, cry, and cry, that's all she's capable of. Cry till her eyes bleed out, till it lets out blood rather than tears. Her sensitive heart as fragile as glass, ready to be thrown and broken with a simple touch. It didn't choose to be broken, it was forced to be broken.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

She can't talk but she can write, how can she be mute but be loud? I wonder how long she can keep up. Her words are strong but limited. Nobody's stopping her and yet she feels like there are shadows everywhere, ready to grab her the moment she opens her mouth.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

A knife on your throat, so close yet so far. The moment you speak and your diaphragm expands, it touches the blade of the knife pointed at you. The words you so badly want to let out stuck in your throat because of fear. Now all you can do is cry and be helpless all over again.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

Already a dead person, her body is alive for her parents dream, for her friends and their happiness, for their comfort and not hers. Her body is for the service of others, and not for the service of her own.

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

I've been having thoughts that are filled with books i haven't read into yet. But that's why I'm sleeping. Because nowadays, it's better to sleep than to navigate a library where there's no sign nor direction

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

New sentimental item

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

Despite how much she has grown, she will always come back smaller than before. Progress so deep but she always climbs up rather than going down. Tell me, Why is it that seeing the darkness within the hole, immediately sends her frightened and intimidated?

[Cyrenie @Azy_fish]

It hurts to know that I took something from you. The opportunities you wanted the most were given to me. I thought of it as a curse but it soon became a blessing. But will it continue as such when i figured out it was a curse for you?