Bo Burnham

i'm one of Dan Brown's ghostwriters or something.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

Girls are like donuts when I be bustin bo nuts.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

I got a safe full o' cherries, cause I pop it and lock it,

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

WTF = welcome to facebook.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

Swallow bitch, there's people starving in Africa.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay. Just kidding.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

Just because I got to an all boys school, doesn't mean that Justin Timberlake makes me drool.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

I hate my wife because she is a ho, ho, ho.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

My suggestion is to not blow till you know what congestion is.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

I'm the king of pop, *pop* there goes my weasel, now you look like Jackson Pollic's easel.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

What's a bag of chips divided by 5? It's a Nike worker's meal.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

I hate catchy chorus' and I'm a hypocrite. A hungry, hungry hypocrite.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

Go to a vagina orchard, count 1, 2, 3. There, you got a third war country.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

I don't know if all boy scouts are gay, but they can probably tie a knot in 50 different ways.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

Oh Bo, play that oboe.

[Bo Burnham @B0BURNHAM]

If I were gay, though I swear I'm straight, I'd make the fellas say, "Oh Bo."