Big D 🇫🇷

American expat. Award winning writer. Extremely obnoxious tourist.

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

Wearing compression socks rn, it's like having a million pretty ladies grippin me up and down my legs

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

White boy motion Wednesday. Send tweet

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

Government sending agents to kiss me in my sleep and turn me gay

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

My friend Gavin is always seeking out a white monster, meanwhile I try to keep mine contained

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

If you were in public, like a crowded Mcdonalds or something, would you rather have:
a severe panic attack
or
a severe gorilla attack

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

My dad forgot the word for sauce and called it a "slime base"

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

California is like the opposite of Agartha

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

Boomers will watch this shit with a hand covering their mouth like a fainting Victorian lady

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

I actually invented tumi knives, the andeans didn't have any kind of dedicated beheading tools before they met me. I never asked for compensation, I'm just that kind of guy

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

I just watched my timer app start going into the negatives instead of ringing

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

It should be illegal for people younger than me to make nostalgia posts, I just saw a meme nostalgic for 2022. "something in the air was just different then" Yeah it was craft glue and magic markers you fucking toddler

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

When I gotta fart; I fart. But when I gotta poo? I wait until I'm at the bathroom.

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

Is it just me or does Rome have kind of a Latin vibe?

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

If I had a girlfriend and some guys were heckling her, I'd be like "hands off the goods pal" and I'd shove them

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

At the river I overheard a guy turn to his gf and say "Venice is like this but with buildings on both sides"

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

Orientals be weavin

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

There's literally zero reason not to shit yourself if you're wearing borrowed/rented clothes

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

Joe Biden got butt cancer cus he anal vored a kid and he never came out he just got absorbed like a male anglerfish

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

Yall ever notice how retarded guys always have huge fat asses

[Big D 🇫🇷 @B1Bisco]

@diane_nguyen3 I need iptv my metamask trust wallet got hacked failed transfer wish this was a t-shirt I need help with my homework also i need a sugar daddy