an exoskeleton of polio

I’ve come to the conclusion you can’t kill me if I kill you first

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

Had a dream a bunch of people and I were taken hostage in a mall by an aging ska band who were angry they weren’t invited to play the Warped Tour this year.

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

@TeamYouTube The reason that I watch UnderSparked is because I hate the no-effort channels that just have an AI voice read recent reddit threads. This channel does NOT fall into the "AI slop" category, and should not be de-monitized.

[UnderSparked @MegaSparked]

UnderSparked (https://t.co/gXRNsMVzUy) was falsely demonetized for "inauthentic content", after multiple attempts to appeal we have been getting nothing but copy and paste templated responses denying the appeal. We are requesting for an actual human to fix the issue.
@TeamYouTube

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

Me: “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Anxiety: “Glad you asked! Let’s begin with slide A, figure 1a.”

Me: “This is just a picture of me looking at this slideshow.”

Anxiety: “Correct! Next slide.”

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

“OT is a privilege” is some real fucking dystopian corporate hellhole speak and I’m horrified my boss just said it to me in the real world. No, I’m doing this as a favor to you and as part of the deal, because you’re so desperate, you’re compensating me for not getting a weekend.

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

Life pro tip - if you’re the maid@of honor and your knees hurt from then high heels then take some@muscle relaxants with your white white wine to really get the party going

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

@PaulSpetrini @JennTVQueen @savbrads And if she was John Landis’ daughter she would have definitely picked another option instead of the helicopter.

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

So I started my new customer service job a couple months ago and I got my first “I could find where you live and come to your house” call last week. So that was fun. I’m also sick for the second time in 3 weeks. Also super fun.

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

Oh no, sorry - they’ve now let a 3rd dude into the conversation.

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

3 women, 2 men, on break. All attempting to have a chat about gaming. All 3 of the women have been repeatedly cutoff and had their subjects dismissed. Now the 2 men are just kinda talking at each other. The 3 women gave up and are talking to other people (or tweeting about it)

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

Something true crime has taught me: If I had a nickel for every case of someone with their hands bound/shot in the back of the head twice/no weapon found on scene/etc was ruled a suicide, I’d have enough money to fund an investigative force that wasn’t obviously inept or corrupt.

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

@oxidanes Absolutely love this

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

“They didn’t have chocolate muffins, so I got you a blueberry muffin and a chocolate donut.”

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

Haley, I’m not going to “Yuck” anyone’s “Yum”, but maybe don’t post about your tentacle fetish in the town square of our little rural village.

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

@trackwanderer @heyfriesen @LindsayDianne @as_per_danielle Didn’t like 19 people grab your boobs too? Yeah, that was an interesting time..

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

@heyfriesen @LindsayDianne @trackwanderer @as_per_danielle Sadly there were no tall friends to help us that day, but I DID get the attention of a security guard after she got sucked to the floor. He managed to pull her out and toss her over the fence like a little Aragon-and-Gimli-at-Helm’s-Deep situation.

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

@sami711 HAPPY BOIRTHDAY

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

Am I missing something? Why did Chauvin make the comment about being unsure how many children Floyd had in his statement? That feels like info he should know, and a weird comment to make about someone you’ve just been convicted of murdering.

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

@DJClicheDarknes This makes me unreasonably happy.

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

WHOA WHOA WHOA THERE, SEWING MACHINE
We don’t use that kinda language anymore, okay buddy?

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

“I haven’t played Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley since the Minecraft update came out.”
- the most 9 year old sentence I’ve ever said #dontjudgeme

[an exoskeleton of polio @b1rd]

@mushiette There’s some pretty active subreddits that have a lot of people who are just starting. I recently deleted my island and started over after weeks of debating, and I am so glad I bit the bullet and just did it. I’m having so much more fun now!