Bad Dad Jokes

The baddest and daddest jokes around! Welcome to the cringe fest.

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

@TLlanelli @ElectionMapsUK @FindoutnowUK @YouGov This website is biased to longer established polling companies. Automatically giving them a higher rating. Just because a firm has been around longer does not mean they are better or more accurate. Also Find Out now have the most accurate local election polling.. @grok

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

@grok @sam_uk137 @ElectionMapsUK @FindoutnowUK @grok find out now are members of the British Polling Council

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

@loobstery @BritainElects @drb_diana @FindoutnowUK https://t.co/luSAFRlCEL if you read the actual analysis by Find Out Now, you can see they are independent... And getting similar results to YouGov.

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

@Joel_CP_70 @JohnMcHugh1878 @BritainElects @FindoutnowUK Matt Goodwins polling company is People Polling, not Find Out Now. Simple Google search shows this....

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

@Mutteroo @JohnMcHugh1878 @BritainElects @FindoutnowUK https://t.co/luSAFRmauj if you actually read their analysis it says they are not paid by anyone to run them

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

@StewartLewis2 @AaronBastani @YouGov Or maybe Find Out Now are just a couple of weeks ahead of yougov and more in common, who have both polled a reform lead. Btw not a reform supporter (actually hate what they stand for), just not blinkered like you seem to be

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

Just when you thought food couldn't call you on your phone.

Boom, onion rings.

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

My wife asked me why I wanted to be cremated.

I told her it's because it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

Two years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf.

I haven't heard from him since.

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV. "Don't go in there! Don't go in the church. You moron!"

she was watching our wedding video again.

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

Two windmills were sitting on a hill. One asks the other, "Do you have a favorite song?"

The other replies, "Well... all my life I have been a heavy metal fan."

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

The good thing about erectile dysfunction is it can be cured with diet and exercise.

The hard part is getting my wife to diet and exercise.

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

My wife is furious with our neighbor who sunbathes naked in her backyard.

Personally, I'm on the fence

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

Waiter: "How is your food sir?".

Me: "The fish is very dry".

Waiter: "Yes, we had to take it out of the water..."

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

Wife: "Can you give the kids a talk on drugs?"

Husband: "I could but it would probably be better if I was sober."

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

My wife yelled from upstairs and asked: "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?"

I replied: "No."

She responded: "How about now?"

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

@Scottishsoc @FindoutnowUK Their website literally says they have their own panel of 100,000+ daily respondents. So exactly how YouGov afford to put out their own polling and trackers I would assume

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

@reformexposed @ElectionMapsUK @FindoutnowUK Opinium has Reform on the same percentage, admittedly they still have labour ahead. More uncommon are also showing reform joint with Labour

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

@reformexposed @ElectionMapsUK @FindoutnowUK They seem to partner with Electoral Calculus fairly regularly, who are very well renowned. I'm not a Reform supported at all, but saying that Find Out Now are not a respected pollster with no evidence is misleading in itself.

[Bad Dad Jokes @BadDadJokesUK]

@reformexposed They seem to partner with Electoral Calculus fairly regularly, who are very well renowned. Not a Reform supporter btw, just not dismissing this poll due to it putting Reform top.