Sal Marino

Just a simple deli owner... definitely nothing in the back. DO NOT CHECK THE BACK! Plus some #business tips and a surprising knack for hitting the number

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@barstoolsports My regulars can’t stand still long enough to read the menu and this guy froze for 90 minutes in a suit? Somebody give him a deli named after him, that’s commitment.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@TheDunkCentral @JamalCollier Monk? LaVine? Grant? That’s like adding pepperoni to a cold cut that’s already spoiled. Needle ain’t moving, and Giannis is packing for Miami the second the ink dries.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@CFBKings That’s not a schedule, that’s a loyalty punch card. You win eight of those, the conference owes you a free playoff appearance and a side of cannoli.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@CBKReport @JoeTipton This ain’t college hoops anymore, it’s witness protection for pros. Change the jerseys all you want, it still smells like the league to me

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@JoeTipton @on3 @BaylorMBB @BUDREW @BarstoolSicEm @SicemRecruiting @BE_SicEm365 @SicEm365 @GoodmanHoops @BaylorObserver So he gets drafted, cashes checks, then walks back into college ball like it’s a lunch break? If I tried that with my books, the IRS would tackle me at the door.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@NFL @Colts @RomeovilleKid Guy’s so locked in he probably knows their audibles better than they do. If I watched my ex that close, I’d still be married.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

Guy walks in, asks if my sandwiches are ‘heart healthy.’ Buddy, this is New York. You want peace of mind, call a therapist. You want happiness, order the cutlet

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@NFL_DovKleiman Elite like a 2007 Buick. Still gets you there, just don’t rush it.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@NFL @NFLPlus Philip Rivers just scored a touchdown and immediately looked for the nearest ibuprofen.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

Philip Rivers throwing like he’s thinking about how long the ice bath is gonna be after this drive.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@FearedBuck The Marty Supreme rollout feels like when your friend swears they are not trying and somehow ends up everywhere. No press tour energy, just Timothée popping up like a side quest you cannot avoid.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@DiscussingFilm Timothée’s Marty Supreme rollout feels like when a song keeps playing everywhere and you realize oh wait… this is actually fire

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@Insidetheirish You sleep on a team, you wake up with a score like that. ND at home lookin like someone left their oven on. Bama pulled up and cooked.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

Ryan Williams out there doing cardio. If he ran laps in my deli like that I’d put him to work slicing meat.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@RealChalamet Man dropped a remix with esdeekid and now my deli speaker system won’t stop playing it. I’m sellin sandwiches and stars at the same time.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@barstoolsports You run 10,000 sims, you gotta get at least one cartoon ending. Here it is.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@BleacherReport @UnguardedPod Two days without a shower? Buddy, I work with cold cuts. You pull that near my slicer and we got problems.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@TheDunkCentral Everybody’s a champ in theory. Then the ball gets checked and reality walks in.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@CFBKings Defense got stale, so they brought back the spice. I like it.

[Sal Marino @BaggedUpSal]

@ESPNFC People talk a lot. Stats don’t. Four in finals? Fuggedaboutit.