Bailey Hammond

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[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

Nintendo Nintendamus
Nintendas Nintendatis
Nintendat Nintendant

[Z. “Partygoer” Smooth @itszmoothly]

Nintendo Nintendamos
Nintendas Nintendáis
Nintenda Nintendan

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

@Brad_Hulker B: Big Bad Breakfast
L: Nabeels
D: Highlands
W: Shu Shop

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

Daenerys: Dracarys

The Night King:

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

#WreckEmTech

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

The opposite of a fork in the road is a merge lane.

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

Walk into work with a New York Times and a coffee and you’ll feel like you own the place

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

@BryanJohnsonPhD Hang on for the comedy that goes to infinity and beyond!

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

@BryanJohnsonPhD All I think about is Latin now. Maybe some Roman memes are on the horizon??

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

@BryanJohnsonPhD I need to step up my photoshop game

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

@BryanJohnsonPhD I am very upset I didn’t come up with Bearistotle. This is the golden mean of comedy.

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

You would not bee-lieve your eyes if ten million BEES DIE EVERYDAY AROUND THE WORLD. WAKE UP.

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

@lynseyysmithh I’m a fan

[Ashlay @ashl_ay]

Let’s settle THIS like adults: rt for wawa, like for sheetz

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

I also have an uncle John https://t.co/D5VDCXawTe

[Rylie Jo @rylie_mcfadden]

rt if you have an uncle mike

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

@BryanJohnsonPhD

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

@BryanJohnsonPhD Calvin Coolranch

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

A Truth about Humanity: When a group of people watch a movie starring Philip Seymour Hoffman, someone in the group is bound to say “Wait, is that Philip Seymour Hoffman?” the first time he shows up on the screen.

[Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti]

I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial of its own. Here is the first page.

[jaboukie @jaboukie]

gwen stefani taught me how to spell banana but i wish she taught me how to do my taxes

[Bailey Hammond @BaileyAbridged]

@samfordu This isn’t the first time we’ve won against FSU in Tallahassee. 2015 National Bioethics Bowl. #remember