El Profesor

History Teacher, Husband, Spanish, English, German, "trying to stay sane in an insane world"

[Aakash Gupta @aakashgupta]

Let me explain exactly why your phone seems to read your thoughts, because the real answer is more invasive than telepathy.

Every time you open a website or app, a real-time bidding auction fires in under 100 milliseconds. Your GPS coordinates, browsing history, device fingerprint, age, gender, income bracket, and hundreds of inferred interest categories get packaged into a “bid request” and broadcast to hundreds of companies simultaneously. One company wins the ad slot. All of them keep the data.

This happens thousands of times per day per person. A 2018 New York Times investigation found 75 companies pulling precise location data from apps, with some users tracked up to 14,000 times in 24 hours.

In 2012, a Target statistician identified 25 products that, purchased in combination, could predict a customer was pregnant and estimate her due date. A teenager’s father discovered she was pregnant because Target sent baby coupons to the house before she told anyone. That was one retailer. Store receipts only. Fourteen years ago.

Now scale that. Your phone pings GPS while you sleep. Data brokers link your phone, laptop, and tablet through probabilistic matching of IP addresses, WiFi networks, and behavioral patterns without you ever logging in. The FTC caught two brokers in 2024 categorizing people by visits to reproductive health clinics, political protests, and religious services, then selling those profiles to law enforcement.

The algorithm doesn’t hear your thoughts. It compares your behavioral fingerprint against millions of similar profiles and predicts your next interest before you’re consciously aware of it. It makes hundreds of predictions per day. You ignore the misses. The five hits feel like telepathy.

You paid for the phone. You pay for the data plan. You generate the signal. And every time a page loads, your identity gets auctioned to the highest bidder before the content even renders.

They called it “personalized advertising” because “real-time mass surveillance funded by the people being surveilled” doesn’t fit on a consent banner.

[ally @missmayn]

how fucking stupid is it that we have all these supposed billionaire geniuses running around and their greatest innovation of our lifetime has been stealing all our data to sell us ads.

[El Profesor @Bakuninsson]

@SStricklandMMA So true. It actually hurts to admit. I tried it. The kink is gone.

[El Profesor @Bakuninsson]

🤣🤣🤣

[Lord Immy Kant @KantInEastt]

You cannot be an illegal in the US if you acquire citizenship of Greenland before US invades Greenland

[El Profesor @Bakuninsson]

Ich schau ja schon lange kein Fernsehen mehr, aber ganz ehrlich, was ist das? Packs nicht ganz, kompletter Brain rot und man sagt, Tiktok brennt dir die Birne raus, schau dir das mal

[Sahra Wagenknecht @SWagenknecht]

Die deutsche Industrie geht den Bach runter, die Infrastruktur verlottert, die Inflation frisst den Menschen die Löhne weg – und der #ÖRR verbreitet Jubelpropaganda mit La Ola auf „Aktuelle Kamera“-Niveau. Ernsthaft, #ARD?!

[El Profesor @Bakuninsson]

basically me with 16 when you could still smoke indoors

[El Profesor @Bakuninsson]

The love of your cat is the ultimate masculinity test 🤣

[El Profesor @Bakuninsson]

@justjuri27 I love it

[San Marino fan account @SanMarino_FA]

80’ Even Laimer is now helping San Marino defend, stopping a 100% certain goal from Austria. He ain’t so laime.

🇦🇹8-0🇸🇲 #autSMR

[San Marino fan account @SanMarino_FA]

83’ Goal Austria. Marko Arnautovic completes his hattrick.

🇦🇹[9]-0🇸🇲 #autSMR

[San Marino fan account @SanMarino_FA]

84’ Goal Austria. Arnautovic scores faster than I can tweet. Take it easy.

🇦🇹[10]-0🇸🇲 #autSMR

[El Profesor @Bakuninsson]

@UTDTrey He chased the all time goalscorer record of Austria and ultimately broke it by scoring 4 goals in that game. His name is Marco Arnautovic.

[TheEuropeanLad @ThaEuropeanLad]

EVERY OUTFIELD PLAYER SCORED AND/OR ASSISTED?! HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED BEFORE?!

[Arsenal Babe @arsenalbabe_]

Sign an 8 year deal,
Get a lengthy ban,
Chill at home and get paid.

Mudryk found the ultimate life hack 😹😂

[El Profesor @Bakuninsson]

@UtdChapters Mesut Özil while playing for Arsenal

[El Profesor @Bakuninsson]

🤣

[Gary @plzbepatient]

Having kids of both sexes really dispels you of any ideas of social construction of the child’s interests. My son is a barbarian and my daughter is a princess and these things came purely from their own internal motivations.

[El Profesor @Bakuninsson]

Very true. So lovely there!

[Nicolas J Cassard @jaenicc]

This is by far the most underrated region in Europe. Best gastronomy on the continent. lush forests and mountains. Few tourists.

[Nicolas J Cassard @jaenicc]

This is by far the most underrated region in Europe. Best gastronomy on the continent. lush forests and mountains. Few tourists.

[El Profesor @Bakuninsson]

Lifes a wonder

[Spencer A. Klavan @SpencerKlavan]

Hunter Biden looks better at 55 on a steady diet of ketamine and blow than Bryan Johnson looks at 47 after micro-calibrating the air in the sleep room where he logs his boners